‘Revoke All Their Degrees!’

Coronavirus bursts the US college education bubble | Financial Times

Sinking faster and faster…

Fishmouth Community College has announced a plan to revoke all the associate degrees earned by everyone who voted for President Donald Trump in 2020.

“And not only that!” said College President C. Babbington Whoremaster. “We’re also gonna take back everything they ever learned while they were here!”

The debate now focuses on whether anybody ever did learn anything at Fishmouth.

A Personal Note: I triple-dog dare Rutgers University to take back my degree! In fact, I’m kind of offended that they haven’t yet tried to do that. I mean, come on–I supported President Trump with everything I had! How dare they ignore me? Hey, Rutgers, here I am!

Tell you what. If you want my Political Science degree, you can freakin’ well buy it back! And make sure you adjust for inflation: I want the 2021 cost of tuition.

Y’know, that’s a pretty great idea, if we’re ever in a position to do it: force the colleges and universities to refund the money of anyone who’s unsatisfied with what they got by way of higher education. A lot of goods and services come with money-back guarantees; but I don’t think public education could survive it. Do you?

4 comments on “‘Revoke All Their Degrees!’

  1. I like the idea of a money-back guarantee. The trouble is that the people most entitled to a refund would be so brainwashed and ignorant that they wouldn’t realize that they hadn’t learned anything. Oh well.

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