Yippee-Yay! Quokka University

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Quokka University has added two big names to its teaching faculty!

Steven Patrick Herodotus Michael David Crockett Flanagan–his parents couldn’t decide what to name him, so they just used all the names they liked–has signed on to teach a course in Cowboy Poetry Written By Scottish Fishermen. He’s agreed to work for free, so that’s a big savings right there! Mr. Flanagan has read some of this poetry to persons who visited Kruck’s Department Store to see a vacuum cleaner demonstration, and he says that two of the shoppers really liked it.

But wait, there’s more!

We have also hired Dr. Ruth Fandango, the world’s leading expert on handy things to do with lint, as an associate professor (that means we can fire her) of Intersectional Zoology. We don’t know what that is, but it sounds very collegy! You’ve probably already seen her as a guest on the Olaf Smidgin Show–so that’s another celebrity pickup for us!

As for when Quokka U. will actually open–well, I’m Byron the Quokka, I’m supposed to teach Political Science… and I don’t know!

8 comments on “Yippee-Yay! Quokka University

  1. I’ve yet to hear any cowboy poetry that surpasses “The Streets of Laredo,” but I’m sure Byron’s new hire will give it his best shot (no pun intended).

    1. Louis MacNeice wrote a marvelous poem based on it, in which “Laredo” is actually London during the air raids of WWII. There’s even an apocalyptic reference or two in the poem, such as “Laredo the Golden is fallen, is fallen.” What’s remarkable about the poem is that it really is singable to the tune of the original “Streets of Laredo.”

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