G’day! It’s raining here on Rottnest Island, but we don’t care–we’ve got another fabulous weekend’s worth of Quokka University TV! Byron the Quokka here, serving as spokesquokka for QUTV because everybody else is hiding–some UN TV agency almost caught me last week.
Here’s some samples for you to lust after while I find a hiding place.
7:15 P.M. Ch. 05 PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL GAS–Discussion/Piffle
Host Mervyn Puncho grills three masked intellectuals on their recommendations for what “pregnant persons” should eat. Featuring the June Taylor Dancers.
7:30 P.M. Ch. 08 EFT TROOP–Western/Adventure/Nature
A brood of red efts colonizes an abandoned army post and crawls around in the leaf litter. A brave Sioux warrior (G.K. Chesterton) befriends them just in time for the happy hour at Senor Wences’ Saloon.
Ch. 12 MOVIE–Romance
Lord Jeremy Coldsore (Alan Hale) and Lady Margo Cargo (Katherine Hepburn) pursue a torrid romance in Oy, Rodney! (2020) But there’s a problem–Lady Margo’s upholstered wooden leg is missing! Constable Chumley: Rowan Atkinson. A Man Who Looks Like Lee J. Cobb: Lee J. Cobb
Ch. 19 WARTS AND ALL!–Game Show
Who’s got the biggest warts in the funniest shapes–and in the most unexpected places? Emcee Roberto “No mas!” Duran uses threats to get celebrity guests to show their warts. Tonight’s guests include Jim Bowie, Timon of Athens, Cardinal Richelieu, and Cher. With Dr. Fudgie Fauci and his orchestra.
8:06 P.M. Ch. 43 GIANT BUGS ARE REAL!–Idiocy
Secret documentary films acquired by Joe & Jill Biden reveal small towns and even large cities, all over the world, menaced and attacked by colossal insects (if you want to count arachnids as insects). Commentary by a tongue-tied Irishman. Special guest: Sharon Stone, recently voted the world’s leading expert on spiders the size of a Dunkin Donuts stand.
Right! Well, there it is, and I’m snuggled up with my TV set someplace where the globalist hornswogglers can’t get me, with plenty of eucalyptus leaves to munch on–and Lee dreamed last night of a tree full of koalas, so this is probably not a good time to get him riled up, poor chap…