G’day, g’day! Byron the Quokka here–and have we got weekend TV for you! The clever blokes at Quokka U. have unearthed some real winners! Without further ado, here are a few samples.
7:30 P.M. Ch. 02 AMERICA’S MOST IRRITATING PERSONS–Reality
Who’s it gonna be this week? The man who insists on communicating by meowing like a cat? The woman who emulates Rosie O’Donnell? Or the old hippie from the 60s who begins every sentence with the words, “Dylan once said”? Host: Vlad Putin.
Ch. 05 HOGAN’S HYPOS–Comedy/Drama
What can the Luftwaffe do with a POW camp full of hypochondriacs? Sneezy: Jamie Farr. Itchy: Bob Cummings. Queasy: Don Rickles. Sgt. Gesundheit: Roscoe Lee Brown. This week, they’ve all got motion sickness! Featuring the June Taylor Dancers.
Ch. 16 SAWNEY BEAN & FAMILY–Existential Sitcom
Can Scotland’s most notorious cannibal clan turn over a new leaf? Don’t bet on it! Sawney: Buddy Ebsen. Granny: Irene Ryan. Blotto: Max Baer Jr. Lilly Mae: Donna Douglas. This week: the Thane of Cawdor (Fernando Lamas) proposes to Lilly Mae–and winds up in the soup!
8 P.M. Ch. 47 DICK CAVITY–Celebrity Dentist
Dick discusses memorable root canals, extractions, and fillings with special exciting celebrity guest Ruth Pinchley, the most famous woman in Uzbekistan. Featuring Frank Backside and his orchestra.
8:12 P.M. Ch. 22 GHOST HUNTER!–Unexplained Mystery
Paranormal investigator/fly-by-night realtor Oswin Pitfall hunts down the ghosts of people who haven’t died yet and tries to sell them time shares. Host: A failed Turkish politician who got burned and is still bitter about it.
Well, folks, there you have it! Just reading about these shows makes me want to hop around in circles until they come on!