Chumley On the Rampage (‘Oy, Rodney’)

a gripping page-turner headed for the top of the NY Times bestseller list | Funny  romance, Romance novels, Book parody

It changes a man, facing certain death, to have his life miraculously saved, only to find his mother wandering the countryside disguised as a lisping knight. “Go ahead!” Violet Crepuscular challenges the world. “Find me a man, just one man, who’s been through those things and not been changed!” Thus she introduces Chapter CDLXXXXVI of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney.

Despite the fact that Sir Charles Squole’s trampoline quite literally saved his life, Constable Chumley arrests him for setting up a trampoline without a license. To save time, he jumps off the cliff to the trampoline below; but then he only bounces back up, so he has to take the long way down.

He slaps the cuffs on Sir Charles, unable not to notice that Sir Charles has only one buttock. “Sor Chorles Squoll,” he declares, “I wolthen yon baggit dagnabbit!”

“This is extremely unsporting of you, old chap!” objects the prisoner. But Chumley hustles him off to that secret room where interrogations are made that would only exasperate the public, if they knew.

Meanwhile up at the top of the cliff, Chumley’s mother has fallen violently in love with Lord Jeremy Coldsore. The situation is scrofulous, writes Ms. Crepuscular.

“Stay tuned for more romance next week!” she cautions the reader.

2 comments on “Chumley On the Rampage (‘Oy, Rodney’)

  1. A scrofulous situation should be taken to the Royal Court to be cured by the Queen’s touch.

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