Violet Crepuscular, author of the epic romance Oy, Rodney and self-anointed “Queen of Suspense,” now has a real title to hang on her wall.The Brmytsov suspender factory in Vorozhnyrmytz, Kazakhstan, has honored her as “Queen of Suspenders.” [Note: the model in the pictures is not Ms. Crepuscular.]
Ms. Crepuscular has declined to comment, although neighbors say they have heard her “yelling and breaking things.” “Queen of suspense, not suspenders!” she has reportedly exclaimed. “I don’t even wear suspenders!” [Lewd expletives deleted.]
A dinner will be held in Ms. Crepuscular’s honor at the Restaurant of Tasty Joy, on the skirts of Myzhnytskquoe Mountain.
Whew, you had me worried for a minute with those images. I was going to suggest that if Violet really looks like that, she might want to lay off the toothpaste sandwiches. As for the suspenders, maybe she could use them as a rescue mechanism for Constable Chumley.
Suspenders, suspense: potāto, potäto. 🙂
This is bad – now fame will really go to her head.