They’re Rewriting James Bond, Too

Rare picture of Sean Connery as James Bond. Promotional shoot for  Goldfinger. | James bond movies, James bond style, James bond

If James Bond were real, there’d be some trouble over this.

Move over, Roald Dahl. Ian Fleming needs a seat on the bus to oblivion.

Willie Wonka, meet James Bond! By and by every fictional character in every novel will be rewritten… to accommodate a popular culture that goes from bad to worse by the day.

Yes, James Bond is being rewritten ( ‘Cause he’s “racist, sexist, imperialistic,” yatta-yatta. (Ask me if I care.) And the books he’s in might offend some chuckleheads out there.

They’re gonna remake the movies, too. Maybe what they’re looking for is a new James Bond who used to be a woman, eats nothing but plant-based foods, apologizes for the continued existence of Britain, and goes on and on about it until the very stones must weep for boredom. Well, they’re always remaking Bond movies. But rewriting the novels that the movies are based on–doing it when the author is dead and can’t defend himself–how much lower can it get?

I mean, come on–if you don’t like James Bond books, don’t read them. How is that so hard? Or would you rather sit up in bed all night because someone, somewhere, is reading James Bond and you can’t stop him? And your life as a liberal is incomplete because you can’t stop him.

How did we ever wind up letting these wretched people tell us what to do?

10 comments on “They’re Rewriting James Bond, Too

  1. Hang onto your paper bound books because they are trying to digitalize everything. What a great way to rewrite history – Karl Marx would be so proud!

  2. Read all James Bond books. Do not think there is anything bad in them. Do not want a female Bond.

  3. I never cared for the whole James Bond mystique … so I didn’t bother with the books after the first one. I didn’t demand that they all be rewritten. And I can hardly wait until they rewrite all of Melville’s books. They’re full of racial stereotypes and toxic masculinity.

    This is all really a sneaky way of banning books. They innocently claim that the books are still available, but the available books are different ones, written by different authors, and the originals are no longer available … in other words, banned.

  4. Crazy! People should be evolving to value individual freedoms, Earth’s well-being, and spreading uplifting energies, not devolving into whining about what should be taken away or spending time complaining rather than doing something that is actually productive. Once in a movie store, a woman wanted a scary movie taken from the shelves. She didn’t think she was being a problem, but it’s not for her to decide what is available to others. She attempted to affect my freedom of choice to watch the movie. If I don’t like it, I have the freedom to not expose myself to it. God forbid that freedom be stolen too.

    1. These days “freedom of choice” means the, ahem, “freedom” to do only what Far Left Crazy thinks you should want to do.

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