G’day, g’day! And welcome to another weekend of fantabulous TV brought to you by Quokka University, arranged by me, Byron the Quokka. Here’s a mere sample of our glorious menu.
7 P.M. Ch. 09 SHADOOF!–Classic sitcom
The man they call “Shadoof” (Clint Walker) doesn’t know what that word means, and neither does anybody else. You won’t know, either. Tonight: Shadoof gets caught up in a illegal gumball racket. Mr. Big: Linda Hunt. Zorro: Fernando Lamas. (We don’t have any shadoofs on Rottnest Island, so don’t ask me what it is!)
Ch. 12 BASEBALL–New York Yankee Rejects vs. Parkville Home for the Aged
Red-hot prospects who never made the team take on 80-plus-year-olds at Municipal Landfill Stadium. Announcers: Gary Abdel-Shawabti, Stammerin’ Joe Jugurtha, Marcel Marceau. Sponsored by Magma-Fest Beer, “When you’re having more than six.”
7:30 P.M. Ch. 22 SUPER-SNAIL–Adventure
Incompetent gardener Hector Oops (Sir John Gielgud), bitten by a were-snail, develops snail-like attributes and launches into a career of slow-motion crime-stopping! Tonight: Have the June Taylor Dancers (Themselves, the whole gang of them) kidnapped a man who’s stayed awake too long? Super-Snail investigates!
7:41 P.M. Ch. 36 COMPULSIVE LIAR NEWS–News & commentary
Not a single word of it is true! Anchor Roger Dimmsdale (not his real name) interviews a man who falsely claims to be President Lyndon Johnson. Consumer reporter Ellen Melon (not her real name, and she’s not a real reporter) pans bathroom products that do not in fact exist–Dran-O For Kids and Newman’s Own Borax Shampoo.
8 P.M. Ch. 61 MOVIE–Almost-classic film noir
Some guy from my high school class stars as private eye Ogden Nash in “I Live Face-Down, You Crummy Clown” (Tibetan, 1969: 22 minutes). Set in a Florida alligator farm, “the rhyming detective” tries to nab a serial murder (Debbie Reynolds) before she can qualify for a guest spot on “Hollywood Squares.” Host: Peter Marshall. Widely-condemned music by Joe Frazier and the Knockouts.
So there you have it–better stock up on goodies before the shows start!
On my way to get more scrumptious leaves!
4 comments on “Byron’s TV Listings, April 1”
Wow, another great roundup of TV goodies! But don’t we have compulsive liar news programs every night on most of the channels?
By the way, I have a hymn request for this last week of Lent: “Were You There When They Crucified My Lord?”
Is Johnny Cash’s rendition OK with you?
I don’t think I’ve heard that one, but if you like it, sure!
You can ask for whoever you want… We aims t’please.