G’day, boys ‘n’ girls! Byron the Quokka here, with glorious TV from Quokka University–just what you need to recover from all that Fourth of July excitement. This will save your weekend!
3:30 P.M. Ch. 43 THE PRICE IS WRONG–Game show
Guess the price right, and it’s yours! Guess wrong, and it’s total humiliation in front of countless viewers! Host: A Mycenaean king. Chattering Nincompoop: We can’t give you her name, but you’ll know her when you see her.
3:32 P.M. Ch. 12 BOWL WITH THE CRYBABIES–Sports psychology
What’s wrong with these people? Well, that’s just the question that Dr. Fobick and his celebrity panel try to answer. Bowling brings out all their personality quirks! And you can send for Dr. Fobick’s Home Bowling Kit to find out how far off the highway you are.
4 P.M. Ch. 106 MOVIE–A bit of something for everyone!
Ozzie & Harriet star in What the Divot! (American-Sudanese, 1957, 14 minutes), the movie that examined the life of artist Rembrandt Peale and concluded, conclusiively, that he was indeed the man he said he was! Special interview with some guy on the sidewalk who never heard of him and keeps trying to get away.
Ch. 24 WORLD CHAMPION HEAD-BUTTING–Sports
Live from the Greenland Ice Cap, the 88th annual World Hard-Head Championship: hosted by Carl LaFong (Capital L, small a, Capital F, small o…), with the June Taylor Dancers freezing their long leggies off! Contestants include flaming idiots from all over the world–and banned everywhere else! Winner gets two aspirin.
Well, folks, that’s just a sample of the indescribable bliss that’s waiting for you here.
As you can see, I’m all keyed up for this! Byron the Quokka, signing off.