G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here–and never mind that microscopic page of TV Guide. We’ve got the real thing! Courtesy of Quokka University. Here’s a mere sample.
6:19 P.M., Ch. 54 RAWHIDE-PLUS–Western drama
A Wild West nudist colony? Why not! Tonight: Trail boss Mack Smack (Arnold Stang) has forgotten how to put his pants on right. Special guest stars: the June Taylor Dancers, They can get him out of his pants–but can they get him back in?
6:30 P.M. Ch. 16 WHOPPER ROOM SCHOOL–Educational
Beloved teacher, Ms. Jidrool (Hillary Caltrop, fresh from her off-Broadway role as “Medea”) teaches her first-graders “how to make nice things happen by making up the truth.” Sponsored by Harlo’s Happy Pills.
7 P.M. Ch. 08 BOBBING FOR CRABS–Game show
Whose face will come out of the tub with the most crabs clinging to it? The prize: a complete set, 26 volumes, of the Acme Encyclopedia of False Facts! Host: Beto “Career Change” O’Rourke.
7:30 P.M. Ch. 51 NEWS WITH DRACULA–Well, it’s a news show, isn’t it?
Ever wonder what TV nightly news would look like, if vampires and ghouls produced it? (They don’t do it already–shame on you!) Anchorman Pete “Dracula” Jones dons black cape and plastic fangs–not recommended for sane people. Sports: Bob Renfield (not when he can get “nice, juicy spiduhs!”).
And that’s that! Meanwhile, nothing goes with News With Dracula like some nice, waxy leaves!
Byron the Quokka, signing off…
[Note: Yes, I thought it was Saturday–so I’ll bump Joe Collidge to tomorrow. All this running around to assorted doctors has confused me.]
O Byron, you have outdone yourself this week. I laughed and laughed just reading about how much fun all these shows will be to watch: nudist camps, making up the truth, crabs hanging from human lips, and vampires and ghouls doing the news (sounds like real life to me). I might have to try some of those Harlo’s Happy Pills.
I write those because laughter is a gift from God.
G’Day, ol’ pal. You are always on it.
I suspect that there are a lot of people using Harlo’s Happy Pills, these days. 🙂
Too funny. But as for those Happy Pills, I think I’ll try Byron’s nice waxy leaves first. 🙂