G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Have we got TV for you this weekend! Byron the Quokka here–with a small sample of what Quokka University has lined up for you. Let’s get started!
Saturday
6:46 a.m., Ch. 42 THE BUNDLES!–Paranormal suspense thriller
They twitch. They shift their position when no one’s looking. They make funny noises. Can super-detective Fong Hsueh-ting crack the case before it cracks him? Tonight: The bundles turn up in Mrs. Fogg’s (Peggy Cass) linen closet and get her charged with witchcraft. Sister Mucilage: Linda Hunt
11:00 a.m., Ch. 14 THE POPPY GULUMPHO SHOW–Variety of a very low order
The Cross-Eyed Chorus! Dog sings Dixie! Boy who thinks he’s a bat! Poppy’s got ’em all–even after being banished from all the major networks. Featuring Doc Trotsky and his People’s Revolting Band.
3:11 p.m. Ch. 56 I’VE GOT A SHAMEFUL SECRET–Sort of a reality show
Can host Sylvia Algae’s team of crack busybodies ferret out the most shameful secrets among the studio audience? The whole country’s still buzzing about that guy who peed the rug when he was 26 years old and got his nephew blamed for it. Boo, hiss!
4 p.m. Ch. 08 NOSY AUNT FIFI–Melodrama (with obnoxious organ music)
Nosy Aunt Fifi (Sharon Sharalike) bites off more than she can chew when she pokes her nose into the diaries of local Mafia chieftain Vinnie “the Protozoan” Colooch (Wade Boggs). Has her luck run out? Song: My Coccyx Feels Funny.
There! That should get you started.
Waiting for my ship to come in! Byron the Quokka, signing off.
I think I’ve met those Bundles…. 😁