Byron’s TV Listings: June 7

The boss has been sick all week, so for this week’s TV listings, I’m on my own–Byron the Quokka, the Grand Pooh-bah of obscure TV shows that nobody watches. Except for the ones I watch. Here are a few of my favorites.

Saturday

5:30 a.m., Ch. 46   THE SKINFLINTSTONES–the lowest comedy imagineable

What if our prehistoric ancestors were a lot of tightwads? What if they were cheap and stingy before money was invented? Tune in to watch Pa Skinflintstone (Matt Sigfusson) try to cheat Bjarni (Rocky Timoshenko) out of his weekly slosh ration.

4 p.m., Ch. 14  KITCHEN OF INDESCRIBABLE DELIGHTS–Cooking show, believe it or not

It’s only later that we find out the only reason these delights are indescribable is because Chef Ronnie Hsiao can’t describe anything! “You, ah, take this pointy thing and cut open this thing with dots all over it…” And then he makes barnyard noises. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Sunday

1:34 p.m., Ch. 12  MOVIE–High and Low Adventure

In Your Mama’s Busted Coccyx (Nebraska, 2002) Chad Boccigalup stars as Shorty Remco, the CIA’s most deadly secret agent. In this outing, Shorty slips up and inadvertently rubs out the Director (Bugs Bunny Jones), posing a challenging problem to Senator Hobo (an animated bas-relief–the latest thing!) Admiral Sprocket: No one in particular.

Well, boys ‘n’ gulls, that ought to doll up your weekend like nobody’s business! Settle down in your burrow with a jar of pickles and just let the world go by.

Byron the Quokka, signing off.

(The guy with the whiskers thinks anyone can be a quokka. Sigh! Oh, the ignorance!}