Just for Fun – Page 2

Our New Yeer’s rezzalutoins!! REPRINT

leeduigon(patty)July 31, 2026

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From January 4, 2019

Whell, jist in Time,, i joyned our collidge’s Pro Choyce Cacas! and thay has gived Us “alll” a liszt of New Yeer’s Rezzalutoins!! The Pro Choyce Cacas thay maded al Our “choyces” fore us,; how grate is that??? Al wee has to do Is “obay” themb!!!

And hear thay are!

We Rezolfe to whare only “the” Cloathes the Cacas says we “has” got to whare Evry Day!!

We Rezolfes to reed “The” Handmade’s Tail over and ovar agin and keap Reeding it so we know “it bye” hart!!

We rezolfes to get Inta Canfrontaycions whith christins and conserfatiffs Evry Day and keap Doingit “untill” thay Minds thay are rihght!!!

We rezolfes to go to Bed evry Nihght wen the Cacas say we shuld!

We rezolfe only “to” use themb brandnew Pro Nouns that the Cacas thay has jist maded Up,: like Gzee and Gzaa and Gzuu and Lunnabunna and a “lot of” Others,, i has not yett Bin Abel to memberyze themb alll, “thay are” for al the New Genders that has got “to be” Re-speckted!!! Al themb Old Pro Nouns thay “are” Trans Foabbick!!

Aslo we has got to say “the” F Bomb at leest Oncet in evry sentints becose this hear it Willl aleavvyate globbal Povverte and Sex Ism!! I all reddy started Doingit but that stopid lee he is “goingto” deeleet al my F Balms!! [Editor’s note: You got that right, Joe.]

And aslo tooo we Rezolfe to Hate all the hatters and biggits That are “arond” hear on the Campas and to Hate themb “until” thay jist Drop Dedd!!!!!

So thoze thay are all “The” Rezzalutoins that The Pro Choyce Cacas thay has choze for us!!

This dog deserves an Academy Award

leeduigon(patty)July 27, 2026

‘Take THAT, Ms. Crepuscular!’ REPRINT

leeduigon(patty)July 26, 2026

Oy Rodney – Lee Duigon

From August 17, 2025

Ha-ha-ha! Poetic justice returns to the Internet. The bad guy gets dunked in dirty water. And Violet Crepuscular gets beaned–all’s right with the world!

You may remember Ms. Crepuscular challenging her readers to provide hints of a massive do-over of her immortal romance, Oy, Rodney. Here are a few examples.

Pooba City, OK: “Aw, shut up already!”

K’smagge, Eurasia: “Do we get a prize for reading this?”

Imago Humana, New Jersey: “There’s a guy in Piscataway who writes better than you do–and he’s locked up!”

Bisstong, Rumania: “I learn English for this?”

Despite her protestations that “most” readers are positively crazy about her work, we’ve got her number. You can run, Violet, but you can’t hide!

INTERRUPTION: What? You wonder what happened to Mr Pinball? No, he has not been dunked in dirty water. To say nothing of Willis Twombley, or Lord Whatsisname (the one with the big house).

You’ve got it bad, kimosabe. Try to find a health hot line.

Byron and His Mom REPRINT

leeduigon(patty)July 25, 2026

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From May 29, 2019

Lee is outside writing The Wind from Heaven, his new book, and he said I could post one more picture here–but just one, he doesn’t want the whole family album.

This is me and my mom. Her name is Francesca. That used to be Robbie the cat’s name, but she didn’t want it so my mom took it. I am supposed to be learning how to run this blog when Lee’s not here. My mom says she always wanted me to be a blogger. A lot of quokkas have blogs, but not many people know that. You’d be surprised how many famous blogs are really quokka blogs.

I guess I will take a break now and see if there are any french fries available.

Not-so-Famous Last Words REPRINT

leeduigon(patty)July 23, 2026

From August 15, 2014

Most of us will never get the chance to utter truly famous last words, on a par with “God Himself couldn’t sink this ship” (the Titanic) or “We’ve got ’em now, boys” (Custer to his troops at the Little Bighorn). For this we may give thanks.

Nevertheless, we’ve all said things that rank as not-so-famous last words. Here are a few I wish I’d never said.

*”Ah, c’mon–nobody could really be that stupid.” What a world of hurt this saying often introduces!

*”How bad can it be?” Have you ever said this about a movie, or a restaurant, and then found out, to your sorrow, just how bad it was capable of being?

*”What can it hurt?” Really, saying that is just asking for it.

*”Don’t bother to call the repairman, I’m sure I can fix it.”

*”They always set the freshness date several days ahead of when it actually goes bad.” Please don’t say that. Don’t even think it.

*”Look, it’s okay–the guy said we can show up whenever we want.”

*”I’ll show off how smart I am by voting for the third-party candidate.” I last said that in 1992. I promise never, ever to say it again.

Do you have any sayings you’d like to take back? Feel free to share!

PS: My wife would like to add this one, “You can’t miss it.”

How’s about some jumping, playing, happy goats?

leeduigon(patty)July 22, 2026

Appointment With Doom! (‘Oy, Rodney’) REPRINT

leeduigon(patty)July 19, 2026

Pin by Ross Johnston on totally judging books by their covers | Book humor, Book parody, Romance novels

From August 29, 2021

Squeaky-toy madness has gripped all Scurveyshire! You can’t hear yourself think, and even the dogs can’t stand it anymore. Worse, questions are being asked in Parliament. “There still is a Scurveyshire? It wasn’t wiped out in the Wars of the Roses?” And the always popular, “What the deuce is wrong with those people?”

Chapter CDXL of Violet Crepuscular’s interminable epic romance, Oy, Rodney, promises to be a turbulent one. And on top of all that, Ms. Crepuscular is thinking of adapting it into a Broadway musical. “I may have to find a way to pull the substitute vicar from Zanzibar out from under the regular vicar’s backyard wading pool,” she gravitates to her readers. “But hey, as long as you’re going to have a stageful of squeaky toys, you might as well take advantage of the music that they make.”

We have a sneak preview, right here, of one of the most popular squeaky toys now being squeaked by everyone in Scurveyshire:

“I have never heard anything so beautiful!” rhapsodizes Ms. Crepuscular. “No wonder the caecilians–” (I thought she’d forgotten those, but no such luck)–“are stirred up all over the tropics: stirred up to go to Scurveyshire!” We are not told why these secretive, little-known amphibians should be irresistibly drawn to the sound of squeaky toys.

“But take a good look around your house!” counsels Mr. Crepuscular. “If you have a dog, you probably have two or three squeaky toys. And where there are squeaky toys, you’ll find caecilians! Well, I mean, you can try to find them. They’re always hiding.”

Byron’s TV Listings, Feb. 5 REPRINT

leeduigon(patty)July 18, 2026

From February 5, 2022

TV Guide 10-16 September 1966

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with the best TV you’ll see all week! People are dyin’ to know where we get these shows! I wish I could tell you, but I don’t want to suddenly disappear… if y’know what I mean. Anyhoo, here’s a sample of this weekend’s revels:

7:30 P.M. Ch. 08 PRESIDENT FOR LIFE!–Drama

So you think it’s easy, being dictator? Gen. Buckethead (Edward Platt) needs a special march for his death squads (“Like the goose-step, only higher–much higher!”), while Mrs. Buckethead (Nancy Pelosi) can’t decide whose scalp to wear to the annual Diversity Ball. Who will be led out and shot this time? Suck-up News Anchor: Dan Rather.

Ch. 10 SAMMY THE GIANT JELLYFISH–Children’s Science Fiction

It takes a lot of jellyfish to make the high seas safe for multi-family housing; but Sammy (Sidney Toler) is a lot of jellyfish! This week: Mr. Bigsheets (Sal Hepatica) need’s Sammy’s help when his Floating Apartments keep sinking for no apparent reason. Sally the Giant Sea Cucumber: Julie Andrews

8:00 P.M. Ch. 18 HOME RUN DERBY–Game Show

Can they still hit home runs if they’re 80 years old, up against a near-sighted pitcher who throws heat–and wearing an oversized derby instead of a batting helmet? Heck, the freakin’ thing keeps slipping down over their eyes just as the ball is released! Host: Noam Chomsky. Tonight’s contestants: Shotgun Shuba, Bob Allison, Elio Chacon. First one hit into the seats wins everybody else’s personal belongings.

Ch. 41 MOVIE–Historical Epic

In “Hercules vs. the Bugs of Babylon” (Finnish-Ethiopian, 1987), Sunu Huutuala, “the Steave Reaves of Helsinki,” stars as the legendary strongman who must save Babylon from an invasion of shield bugs. Evil mastermind: Arnold Stang. Loola the Slave Girl: Helen Hayes. Babylonian goon squad: the June Taylor Dancers.

8:08 Ch. 37 UNSOLVED PARANORMAL LOTTERY NUMBERS–Utter Ca-Ca

Emcee John Kerry (wooden puppet) unwinds the convoluted excuses of self-taught experts whose fool-proof systems… fail. This week: “Bigfoot changed my numbers”: 14 guests from all around the country tell their stories. Featuring Mr. Clean and his orchestra. (Yes, the real Mr. Clean from all those old commercials!)

Well, me hearties, cruise through the weekend on a sea of great TV! Blimey! Have I just made a metaphor? This job is getting to me!

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