Phoebe has already given us the lyrics to “I’m Gonna Go Eat Worms,” and that just naturally called to mind two other gross-out songs of childhood.
Jars and jars of green and gooshy gopher guts,/ concentrated monkey meat, percolated birdie feet,/ all wrapped up in green and purple porpoise-pus… All right, enough already, I don’t want to lose my job. So I won’t reproduce the lyrics of “Never Laugh When a Hearse Goes By.” You probably know them already, anyhow.
I have heard these songs from people who came from different states all over the country, with minor variations galore. Playground songs, I guess you’d call ’em. You could probably crank a genuine folklore thesis out of it. (“Teacher is a friend of mine, she resembles Frankenstein…”) Oy, the memories!
I’ll bet you could get a degree in this stuff.
