A Contest to Beat All Contests

Jousting knights hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy

How to rev up interest in this blog? How to inject excitement? Gee, I wish I knew!

We’re less than 3,000 away from having had 100,000 comments. I really feel I ought to do something special to mark that milestone. At the same time, my viewership is only half of what it was two years ago. What to do, what to do…?

Jazz up the prizes, maybe? Books and T-shirts–maybe that’s boring. Not to be compared to a lamp with a genie in it. Or your own little country to boss around.

I suppose I could have another contest to see who can offer the best idea for the next contest. [He just manages to duck a rotten grapefruit.] (I’m guessing that means “No!”) A foreign policy contest?

As you can see, I just don’t know! Stuck, stymied, brought to an impasse–and therefor open to suggestions. Feel free to make as many as you please.

Win a Classic Tank!

Soviet tank t-34-85 of the world war ii. Soviet medium tank t-34-85 of the  world war ii. biggest war campaign of 20th century | CanStock

G’day! Byron the Quokka here with big, big, mega-big news!

Now you can win a genuine Soviet tank from World War II, the famous T-35/85. Well-armored, fast, durable, its 85-mm gun packs a real wallop! The turret swings a full 360 degrees–so the next joker who tailgates you and honks his horn is gonna get a real big surprise.

“Gee, Byron, what do I have to do to win the tank?”

Shhh! Actually, we’re not supposed to have this tank. There’s a quokka named Fooch who collects classic tanks and hides ’em in the bushes. And he’s got a T-34 to spare–perfect for attracting more contestants.

Right–well, I admit we still need to come up with a new contest in the first place. If somebody’s gonna wind up proudly driving his T-34 around the block, he’ll have to win a contest first.

Let me take some time to think!

Quokkas <3 | Cute wild animals, Cute animals, Quokka

If this picture was a little bigger, you could just make out one of Fooch’s tanks parked amid the bushes.