Another Comment Contest? Maybe?

Pin by Becky Marr on Jace crafts | Green army men, Cool cartoons, Army men  toys

I have had a lot of things distracting me lately. Just now I looked up and saw we have 89,500+ comments.

Normally I’d have a contest for No. 90,000, because it’s a milestone. But I’m late, I’m late!

So I’ll set the goal at 91,000. We can say it’s eccentric.

And so… the lucky reader who posts Comment No. 91,000 will win a) an autographed copy of one of my books, or b) this cool T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost” (I’m wearing one just now), or c) a little bag of plastic army men, suitable for decorating a cake or scaring off gremlins.

Everyone can play, everybody’s eligible–we only rule out comments that are abusive to others on the site, profane, or just too inane to bother with. I don’t mind a bit of piffle, but one does have to draw the line somewhere.

The contest officially begins…. now!

Win Something Fantastic!

Life & Other Crises: Could You Love a Surprise Package?

I’ve just noticed that we have less than 1,000 comments to go to reach 90,000. I wonder if I can drum up any interest in a comment contest.

Well, sure–if the prize is gaudy enough. I’ve got T-shirts and books. No one gets excited. I briefly considered “Win a date with Joe Collidge!” Very briefly.

Didn’t I once offer a little bag of army men? How did that turn out? I’m guessing it didn’t.

Oh… suffice it to say that the reader who posts Comment No. 90,000 will win something. (You can always use little army men to decorate a big cake.) I’ve got some time to think it over and I’m always willing to take suggestions. If I can get any.

Psst! The Next Prize (Top Secret!)

Quokka - Album on Imgur

G’day out there! Keep it down, please–don’t want Lee to hear. This is Byron the Quokka with the most exciting news you’ve ever heard!

The prize for our next contest:

Suits of Armor, A Knight's Best Friend | History Daily

Boy howdy and yowsah! A real live suit of armor! In fact, it’s the very suit of armor Ezio Pinza wore in South Pacific  until they made him take it off because he clanked too loud while they were trying to sing. Before that, the fifth Earl of Scurveyshire, Earl the Earl, wore it to the Crusades but arrived late and didn’t get to do anything.

Now, all this armor is doing is being propped up in a museum somewhere. Obviously they don’t want it! But if you’re like me, you’ve wanted a full suit of armor all your life. And now’s your chance to get one!

Let’s make it the prize for our next comment contest. I don’t think I can get it out of the museum any sooner than that. It takes a lot of quokkas to carry a whole suit of armor!

Comment Contest: 400 to Go


Win an autographed copy of The Wind from Heaven! Or a cool T-shirt like nobody else has. Those are the prizes in our current comment contest–

–The race for 75,000 comments!

We now have just over 74,500. Once upon a time 500 comments would’ve come quickly; now, not so much. Not with Big Tech censoring us all over the place.

Look, anyone can comment, anytime. Now you can even get here via MeWe. Let’s do this!

They’ve Done It To Me Again!

Angry Quokka 4" Poster by johngill | Redbubble

G’day! Byron the Quokka here: Lee is too cheesed off to write about this.

Overnight, WordPress changed the blog editing format so that now we can’t see exactly how many comments we have at any given time. That makes it really hard to run a comment contest! (And just after we ordered all those shirts, too! Grrrrr!)

Our only hope is that our tech wiz, Jill, can straighten this out. There’s this big fat long link we can use, and if she can paste it to a tool bar someplace where I can get at it, all will be well.

So keep commenting! We have quite a ways to go to hit 75,000, and we should have time enough to solve this stupid problem. You want to win a shirt, don’t you? Or a book.

I cannot imagine why WordPress keeps throwing unwanted changes at its users. Anyone would think they were trying to chase us away!

This would never happen if quokkas were running it.

We’ve Got the Shirts!


These shirts were delivered the other day, so now they can be given out as prizes to contest winners.

Be the first on your block to sport one of these noble T-shirts, decorated with a quote from moi: “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.” And it’s all in glamorous MAGA red and white, so liberals and other college graduates who can’t read will think it’s a Trump shirt. You can then patiently explain to them that it isn’t. (Just kidding!)

All you have to do to get one is post Comment No. 75,000 on this blog–and we’re a long way from that milestone, so you’ll have plenty of time to post as many comments as you want. Y’know, some of you have been coming here regularly for years and still haven’t ever posted a comment. Why so bashful? (Or did WordPress make it hard to comment? Wouldn’t put it past them.)

So let’s begin!

We’ve Ordered the Prizes


Well, we’ve ordered these shirts as prizes in our comment contests–bright red, Xtra Large T-shirts, emblazoned with the motto, “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.”

It would be nice if our readership numbers recovered and we had a lot of commenters competing for the prize. Hardly anybody here this morning. The numbers crashed on Jan. 18 and have never bounced back. I have no idea why that happened. Nor do I know what to do about it. WordPress swears it ain’t their fault.

Anyway… The shirts’ll be here in a few days, and we’ll make one a prize for posting Comment No. 75,000. At the rate we’re going, civilizations will rise and fall by the time we get there.

Well, it’s a cool shirt, we hope you like it.

We’ve Got a New Prize!


I know, I know–10% of the readers make 90% of the comments. So we try to pump it up with comment contests, by which I show our appreciation for those 10%ers.

To this end, we have ordered a new prize: a red T-shirt bearing the quote, “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.” Our thanks to Phoebe for making the suggestion!

So, next time there’s a comment contest, the winner will receive one of these shirts. They’re all Xtra Large. If that’s too big for you, well, you can always use it for a nightshirt. But a lot of people like their T-shirts to be roomy.

We’ve just passed 70,000 comments, so I’m thinking 75,000 for the goal of our next contest. Stay tuned!

Clashing Contests–and Bigger, Better Prizes

Somebody–I think it was either Clyde Beatty or Amenhotep II–once said you ruin contests if you have too many of them. But sometimes it can’t be helped. Our Second Annual Christmas Carol Contest is down to its last few drops, and there really ought to be a contest–about now!–to commemorate Comment No. 70,000 posted on this site.

Byron the Quokka has pressured me to offer bigger and better prizes. Well, all right. How about this for a prize–?

USS New Jersey (BB-62) - Wikipedia

The Battleship New Jersey!

After all, the Navy isn’t using it anymore, they’ve turned it into a museum and surely wouldn’t notice if you or some other reader won it in a contest. I mean, who wants an autographed book by me, when they could have a genuine battleship instead?

And if that isn’t enough to jazz up a comment contest, here’s a prize that should really pack ’em in!

Slovenia Map and Satellite Image

The country of Slovenia!

Nestled in between Italy and Croatia, with Austria and Hungary peering over its shoulders, Slovenia makes an ideal vacation destination. And it can be yours! All you have to do is post the 70 thousandth comment to this blog. P.S.–If you win, they’d rather you didn’t change the country’s name or try to move it to a location closer to home.

Well! I guess I’ve shown Byron who can think big around here! He wants to give out a bicycle for a prize. Well, Slovenia is full of bicycles!

Let the contest begin: we need just under 2,000 comments to finish.

Happy Birthday, Whoever You Are

The Quokka. Possibly the happiest animal on earth : Eyebleach

G’day, everybody! Byron the Quokka here; and as you can see, all of us are just waiting for the chance to celebrate another birthday.

This is not just a blog; it’s a fellowship. We’d like to announce everybody’s birthdays. Would you believe it–nobody had a birthday in July.

Anyway, if you’d like birthday greetings here, just leave the date in a comment somewhere, anywhere, and I’ll copy it into my book.

Oh! And don’t forget the comment contest! We’re shooting for Comment No. 64,000, as in “The $64,000 Question.” We still have over a thousand comments to go–but come on, let’s have some fun with this, let’s enjoy some scintillating conversations here! Here, I’ll start the balling rolling with a couple of deep questions–

Why isn’t pick-up sticks an Olympic sport?

Why aren’t there any lost cities in Australia? [Careful! That’s a trick question!]

Whatever happened to Hires Root Beer?

C’mon, humans! Let’s get this blog rolling again!