Win Fantastic Prizes!

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Your own working catapult, for instance…

I wonder if the problem with the contests that I offer here is that the prizes just don’t turn people on. An autographed book, for instance. Where’s the fun in that?

Here are a few prizes that have been suggested by persons who don’t know what they’re talking about.

Cloak of Invisibility. For one thing, I can’t post a picture of it because it’s invisible. It costs a fortune and is super-easy to lose. And also you can’t put it on backwards because then it makes everything invisible to you.

Full-scale working catapult. Show your neighbors who’s boss! This catapult can hurl a 100-pound stone a full 300 feet. And you don’t need a license for it! Don’t believe me? Stop in at your local police station and ask how to get a catapult license.

The key to Fort Knox. Not allowed, actually. The government will just make you hand it over. They’re very touchy about that.

Magic helmet that grants wishes. Sorry, but they stopped making these some 20 years ago and some doofus wished they’d forget how to make them.

Besides which, our Christmas Carol Contest has as its purpose to spread Christmas cheer and get us ready for the Christmas season. Let’s keep those carol nominations coming.

Don’t Forget the Carol Contest!

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What’s this–no Christmas Carol Contest entries today? A quote attributed to Yogi Berra comes to mind: “No one goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.”

Well, we’re not too crowded here! Have you noticed we don’t have commercials? We aren’t trying to sell you anything.

No–we’re just trying to create a place where we can all come together to share hymns, prayers, a healthy laugh or two, and discussions of the issues of the day, if anyone is so inclined. Our comment and carol contests are open to all–and that’s where we need to be crowded!

You can enter as many times as you like, too. Even if it’s your first time here.

We Have a Winner!

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I went to bed last night with just one comment left to go in the comment contest. I found it posted here this morning… by Elder Mike.

So that’s it, Michael–you posted Comment No. 91,000 and that makes you the winner. You have but to claim your prize and let me know your mailing address. (Sorry, but the deal for an honorary doctorate from Fimbo University fell through.)

An autographed copy of one of my Bell Mountain books (your choice of title–I know you already have the first two)

A T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost”

A little bag of plastic army men. (Hey, you never know!)

The next contest, of course, will be our annual Christmas Carol Contest, starting on the day after Thanksgiving. How time flies!

Comment Contest Reminder

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There are fewer than 400 comments left to go before we have a comment contest winner!

Wouldn’t you love to tell your friends and neighbors, not to mention your whole extended family, “I won one of Lee’s comment contests!”? Think of all the times you could tell your grandchildren about it. Or buttonhole passersby on the sidewalk, and tell them. And then there is the spectacular prize that’ll go to the winner! (No, it’s not a one-way ticket to Kong’s Island. Whatever gave you that idea?)

Comment as often as you like! Someone’s bound to win!

(Yeesh, can you imagine Tolkien doing this? I can’t.)

Comment Contest: 500 to Go

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Don’t forget the comment contest! Only 500 comments to go, to reach 91,000… and after that we’ll have our annual Christmas Carol Contest.

But first things first. Win the comment contest and win jaw-droppingly spectacular prizes! Little toy army men! An autographed book! A cool T-shirt that says “If They Have to Kill Us, They’ve Lost”! You even get to choose your prize.

All readers are eligible, all comments are eligible–except for really dumb things said by liberals, profanity, commercials disguised as comments, the usual suspects.

Byron the Quokka will get a raise if this contest turns out well.

Don’t Forget the Comment Contest!

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G’day! Byron the Quokka here. And would you believe it? No comments! Today so far, not one.

They’ve put me in charge of this comment contest. The object is to get 91,000 comments, with about 900 left to go. Whoever makes that comment will get a prize. A bicycle, if it’s up to me. But we don’t expect Lee to go that far.

Meanwhile, the human next door has erected this giant 10-foot tall inflatable ghost for Halloween and it’s scaring the pants off us all… or would be, if we wore pants. I wonder if we could offer that as a prize. Sizonjoy 12 Ft Giant Halloween Inflatable Ghost, Blow Up  Halloween Decorations Built-in LED Lights for IndoorOutdoor Yard Garden  Includes Stakes : Everything Else

Alarming, isn’t it? Better send some comments, or we’ll have to turn him loose!

Another Comment Contest? Maybe?

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I have had a lot of things distracting me lately. Just now I looked up and saw we have 89,500+ comments.

Normally I’d have a contest for No. 90,000, because it’s a milestone. But I’m late, I’m late!

So I’ll set the goal at 91,000. We can say it’s eccentric.

And so… the lucky reader who posts Comment No. 91,000 will win a) an autographed copy of one of my books, or b) this cool T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost” (I’m wearing one just now), or c) a little bag of plastic army men, suitable for decorating a cake or scaring off gremlins.

Everyone can play, everybody’s eligible–we only rule out comments that are abusive to others on the site, profane, or just too inane to bother with. I don’t mind a bit of piffle, but one does have to draw the line somewhere.

The contest officially begins…. now!

Win Something Fantastic!

Life & Other Crises: Could You Love a Surprise Package?

I’ve just noticed that we have less than 1,000 comments to go to reach 90,000. I wonder if I can drum up any interest in a comment contest.

Well, sure–if the prize is gaudy enough. I’ve got T-shirts and books. No one gets excited. I briefly considered “Win a date with Joe Collidge!” Very briefly.

Didn’t I once offer a little bag of army men? How did that turn out? I’m guessing it didn’t.

Oh… suffice it to say that the reader who posts Comment No. 90,000 will win something. (You can always use little army men to decorate a big cake.) I’ve got some time to think it over and I’m always willing to take suggestions. If I can get any.

Psst! The Next Prize (Top Secret!)

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G’day out there! Keep it down, please–don’t want Lee to hear. This is Byron the Quokka with the most exciting news you’ve ever heard!

The prize for our next contest:

Suits of Armor, A Knight's Best Friend | History Daily

Boy howdy and yowsah! A real live suit of armor! In fact, it’s the very suit of armor Ezio Pinza wore in South Pacific  until they made him take it off because he clanked too loud while they were trying to sing. Before that, the fifth Earl of Scurveyshire, Earl the Earl, wore it to the Crusades but arrived late and didn’t get to do anything.

Now, all this armor is doing is being propped up in a museum somewhere. Obviously they don’t want it! But if you’re like me, you’ve wanted a full suit of armor all your life. And now’s your chance to get one!

Let’s make it the prize for our next comment contest. I don’t think I can get it out of the museum any sooner than that. It takes a lot of quokkas to carry a whole suit of armor!

Comment Contest: 400 to Go


Win an autographed copy of The Wind from Heaven! Or a cool T-shirt like nobody else has. Those are the prizes in our current comment contest–

–The race for 75,000 comments!

We now have just over 74,500. Once upon a time 500 comments would’ve come quickly; now, not so much. Not with Big Tech censoring us all over the place.

Look, anyone can comment, anytime. Now you can even get here via MeWe. Let’s do this!