‘Exclusive! The 2021 SAT Tests!’ (2018)

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I had no way of knowing, when I wrote this satire just three years ago, that in 2021 a lot of major colleges and universities would simply discard the SATs and not use them anymore as a measure of anyone’s preparedness for college.

Exclusive! The 2021 SAT Tests!

They used to want to know if you were ready for college. But by now they’ve dumbed it down so much, a monkey is ready for college. It doesn’t even have to be a particularly smart monkey. The idea is to get everyone–yes, everyone–into some kind of college. Even if they have to offer free tuition! While at the same time paying out simply gorgeous salaries and pensions. And we will have 20 million nincompoops with degrees in Gender Studies.