What do you suppose he majored in?
Everybody’s gotta go to college! But boy, does it cost you.
Here’s how some not-quite-honest people pay for a college… “education.”
What if your folks are too “wealthy” to pay the tuition–but not “wealthy” enough to eat it?
Well, where there’s a will, there’s a way. And trust Chicago to find it first.
Party till you run out of money–then ask for more!
I’m losing 75 to 100 views a day compared to last month, and I can’t find out why.
Maybe this post will help. It has a high viewership tradition. I re-run posts for the benefit of those who are newly come to this blog.
What happens when you give a nincompoop $90,000 for college?
Yup–tossed and scattered like confetti, with nothing to show for it. But this poor schlub would be a schlub with or without a college degree. None of her interviewers ever asked her what she was doing in college in the first place.
But this is what you get when you decide that everybody has to go to college. This is “higher education,” dumbed down and spread thin.
What could we do with the billions of dollars wasted on college every year?
I had no way of knowing, when I wrote this satire just three years ago, that in 2021 a lot of major colleges and universities would simply discard the SATs and not use them anymore as a measure of anyone’s preparedness for college.
They used to want to know if you were ready for college. But by now they’ve dumbed it down so much, a monkey is ready for college. It doesn’t even have to be a particularly smart monkey. The idea is to get everyone–yes, everyone–into some kind of college. Even if they have to offer free tuition! While at the same time paying out simply gorgeous salaries and pensions. And we will have 20 million nincompoops with degrees in Gender Studies.
Collidge it costs A Lott “of” Munny and that “is” Nott Fare!!!! Collidge Tooisshin it shood “be” Freee! becose evvry One thay has got “togo” to Collidge! It is a nassescity!!!!!!
So our Stoodint Soviet we hadded “a” meating tooday and voated foar Freee Tooisshin!!!!! Fromb nhow On yiu doughnt has to Pay “to” has a collidge eddicasion!!
Of coarse our Prefesters and evry boddy elst thay “has got To” be payed!!! so thay can Re-tire wen thare 40 (fourty) and has “Nice Pentions”!!” So we aslo voated that the collidge Albumin thay has to Pay!!! And then somb Hater Biggit she sayed “Butt thats not fare,, thay” “all-reddy payed wile thay was heer!!””!! So we beet her Up and putted her in Sensertivvaty Traning!!!
And becides witch, “The” Guvvermint thay can Pay!!!!!!! Like, awl thay has to Do “is” prindt Moar Munny and givv it “to” the Collidges!!! And aslo “thay” can has a spatial Tacks on Wite Peeple tooo!!!
And aslo we voated evvry boddy thay has “to” urn a Sirtiffikit of Divercity in odor to gradurate “and” Natcherly alll “of us” in the Soviet we ottomattockly gets ours up frundt!!!! I meen, lyke, if We “arnot” Divers, whoo is???
(Actually, I think I’d like this toy. And it’d be more useful than a degree in Superhero Studies.)
America is already reeling under the burdensome folly that says that Everybody has to go to college. Now a man who claims to be president says 12 years of public school is not enough, we’ve gotta raise it to 14 (https://www.newsweek.com/joe-biden-not-making-14th-grade-1599844).
The dodderer’s $1.8 trillion “American Families Plan”–that’s rich–will include free! two years of junior college!
We’ve gotta do this because, he said, 12 years in school just isn’t enough anymore, the rest of the world has “caught up to us” and will out-educate us–
Great balls o’ fire. If you can’t out-educate America’s colleges, you have no business being a country in the first place! How many foreign countries, do you think, are spending trillions of dollars to collect millions of students with degrees in Gender Studies? If Biden thinks his buddies in Red China are doing that, he has about another 50 thinks coming… or however many he needs to get it right.
Is the end game here to keep people in the freakin’ classroom till they’re 35? Or 40?
It would be more humane–and lots cheaper–just to offer diplomas free inside a box of Froot Loops.
Biggited stoopid chromosomes
When did the university turn into the place where you went to “learn” things that are flatly and undeniably untrue? When did the liberal arts turn into Nothing Studies?
Bio Prof Says You Must Be a Biggit If You Think There Are Only Two Sexes
Behold, the woman is a fool–and a tenured fool, at that.
But what I’d really like to know is why–if she isn’t just plain crazy–she insists there are a whole bunch of genders instead of only two. What does she get out of it? Then again, what is our whole Western civilization getting out of the transgender delusion?
And why do we keep on pouring money into colleges–when we should be shutting them down, not building them up.
It’s so hard to learn from morons!
Motivated by a weird belief that everybody–everybody!–ought to go to college, America’s colleges and universities continue to dumb down the curriculum.
Like, dropping math requirements, says a honcho at Michigan State, will result in “more successful graduation outcomes” (https://dailycaller.com/2019/12/03/detroit-valedictorian-math-msu/). The kids won’t learn anything, but the colleges will look better.
The Daily Caller has reported on the plight of a high school valedictorian from Detroit now “struggling with low-level math” at Michigan State. In high school she got all A’s. Now she’s up against it, academically.
Meanwhile, the California State University system may do away with the SAT and ACT tests as admissions requirements–because those tests, they say, promote “inequity in student populations.” Honk if you can figure out what that means.
Michigan State dropped algebra in 2016, while Wayne State went them one better by dropping general math altogether.
And another wizard of education has proclaimed that requiring right answers, and expecting students to do their assigned homework, is–you guessed it!–“prejudiced.”
But look, there’s a very simple solution to this problem.
Let every high school student who wants to go to college send his chosen college a check for the tuition. When the check clears, the student is automatically accepted; and when the next mail comes, voila!–a college degree. This will save an immense amount of time and space, not to mention the frustration of flunking out.
Of course you’ll still be able to go to a university, if you’ve been looking forward to parties, game day, sex with people you hardly know, etc. To accommodate these students, it will probably be necessary to drop all academic requirements, the whole batch of ’em, just collect tuition and fees for four or five years, and then hand out the diplomas: everybody gets one, so that’ll be that for “inequity.” With a graduation rate of 100%, college administrators can hold up their heads in pride.
That’s where we’re obviously headed, whether the colleges adopt this plan or not. The only question is how long it will take to get there.