‘Jeopardy’ Panelists Flub Lord’s Prayer

These are supposed to be Smart People winning big bucks on one of America’s longest-running game shows, Jeopardy.

But here’s a question that stumped all three panelists (https://www.tvinsider.com/1096163/jeopardy-the-lords-prayer-triple-stumper-suresh-krishnan-wins/). Let’s see if you can do any better. All you have to do is fill in the blank.

“Our Father which art in heaven, ______ be thy name.”

Nope–stumped all three of ’em. An email comment: “It’s ‘hallowed,’ you heathens!”

What can we say? Our country wasn’t like this when I was young. A lot of bad people (and stupid people, too) did a lot of bad things to make us as we are today.

Turn us, O Lord… please turn us.

Superfluous Superheroes

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You ask why I have two garbage cans? Actually, I need more! Where else can I put all these superfluous superheroes?

Warner Bros. and DC Comics want to crank out another zillion superhero movies, but the first one, Batgirl, went so totally belly-up, they didn’t dare release it. They’ve got this “Extended Universe” thing (https://www.theverge.com/2022/8/13/23300237/dceu-ezra-miller-the-flashbatgirl-black-adam-david-zaslav) which I’m guessing is another flood of stupid superhero dreck aimed at dumbing down the audience even worse than it is already.

All right, I grew up with comic books featuring Superman and Batman et al–but eventually real books took their place. We do not need a different superhero popping out of every port-a-potty.

Apparently the market is getting overloaded with them and Warner Bros. are getting nervous about maybe losing their shirts. How much of this can the public stand? Looks like we might soon find out!

There are already too many superheroes.

If only people could remember–or learn!–how to read.

‘Exclusive! The 2021 SAT Tests!’ (2018)

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I had no way of knowing, when I wrote this satire just three years ago, that in 2021 a lot of major colleges and universities would simply discard the SATs and not use them anymore as a measure of anyone’s preparedness for college.

Exclusive! The 2021 SAT Tests!

They used to want to know if you were ready for college. But by now they’ve dumbed it down so much, a monkey is ready for college. It doesn’t even have to be a particularly smart monkey. The idea is to get everyone–yes, everyone–into some kind of college. Even if they have to offer free tuition! While at the same time paying out simply gorgeous salaries and pensions. And we will have 20 million nincompoops with degrees in Gender Studies.

Collidge Students Mistake Priest for Klansman

What are you getting for your tuition dollars?

Well, for one thing, ignorance and baseless panic.

Students at Indiana University this week went into conniptions because they mistook a Catholic priest for a member of the Ku Klux Klan ( http://www.breitbart.com/tech/2016/04/06/indiana-university-students-mistake-priest-for-kkk-member/ ). As these benighted students saw it, the priest was a Klansman walking around in his robes, all alone, and carrying a whip (it turned out to be the priest’s rosary).

So they freaked out on the social media, warning each other of the “threat” strolling around the campus. A dorm adviser, remarking that the students were “terrified” and “rightly so,” advised students to stay indoors until the crisis had passed.

All that dread and fear for nothing!

Of what conceivable use will these students be to society if they ever get around to leaving college and trying to live in the real world?

Not much!

America has too many colleges and universities, with too many idiots and shysters teaching there, and way too many young people “learning” from them, at a cost which far exceeds their value.

Time to cut it way, way back… if we’re not too late already.