Comedy Break: “Fanfare for the First Lady”

[Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip.]

“Is this a joke, sir?”

“Not yet–but it will be.” (Tiberius to Caligula, in I, Claudius)

As if our politics weren’t already crazy enough, now we’ve got this: back in 2022, the Biden Tribe demanded that the U.S. Marine Corps Band compose–and play–a “Fanfare for the First Lady” (https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1810651051856437732.html). Sort of a “Hail to the Chief,” only she’s not the chief. At least not officially.

Some say the little ditty sounds a lot like the F Troop theme–remember that? A screwball TV comedy, 1965-67. I must say I thought so, too.

The Marine Band did as it was ordered by someone in the White House, and voila–special music to introduce the First Lady. Which has got to be the greatest gig in the world, all the percs and no responsibility. Anyway, there was a kerfuffle over it, the White House denied it… and “The band quietly shelved the song following the publication of this article” (see above).

In case you were wondering, there is no First Lady mentioned in the Constitution… so why is there a First Lady fanfare? Remember Hillary Clinton–the “co-president” whom no one voted for? And Michelle Obama must be royally steamed over this. She never got a fanfare, did she?

Anyway, the denials are in and the song, presuming it did exist at all, is quietly gathering dust somewhere. Maybe they can bring it back for a bat food commercial.

No More ‘Smores?

I think from now on it ought to be required that the president  be unmarried.

For someone whose title is mentioned nowhere in the Constitution, the “first lady” is always an annoyance and sometimes a true pest. The one we’ve got now is a menace.

Our current Worst Lady has a fetish for telling people what they ought to eat. Her latest caper is a bid to turn the traditional campfire treat, ‘smores, into “a healthy treat” by getting rid of the chocolate and marshmallow and replacing the good stuff with lo-fat yogurt ( http://www.bizpacreview.com/2015/05/29/flotus-kills-americas-favorite-campfire-snack-myplate-smores-without-chocolate-or-marshmallows-208584 ).

The horror! The horror…

Let’s see… If you take away the chocolate and the marshmallow from a ‘smore, isn’t that kind of like taking the meat and the bun from a hamburger? You can replace them with anything you want, but what you get won’t be a hamburger.

Do we really, truly, deeply want some sinner in Washington, D.C., nagging us about our snacks?

May God rid us of ungodly rulers.