Introducing (or not) Chapter DCLXIX of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney, Violet Crepuscular, The Queen of Suspense, shares an intimate moment with her readers.
“I always listen to publishers,” she writes, “so when a major New York publisher told me to go soak my head, I took it literally and did my best to comply. Only later did I realize that ‘literally’ really meant literarily–as in one literary personage to another.”
Having filled her sink with water, Violet reports, “I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t breath with my whole head under water! I think I almost drowned! I must of tried this half a dozen times, and always got water up my nose when I tried to breathe.”
Meanwhile, in Scurveyshire, the June Taylor Dancers having kicked the rampaging rhinoceros out of the town, the troupe has set itself up as the new absolute rulers of the town and instituted mandatory dancing lessons.So one problem has replaced another.
In his capacity of Justice of the Peace, Lord Jeremy Coldsore has ordered Constable Chumley to arrest the June Taylor Dancers–although fitting them all into the town’s single little jail cell has created yet another problem. As the constable remarked, “Yea the vimbers hallis brogh!” Who can disagree?