Nooze Writers Can’t Write

The 25 Most Amazing Types of Lizards (Names, Photos and More)

I can’t bring myself to post a picture of an orgy before Congress. Here’s a nice lizard instead.

When Casey Stengel wondered, “Can’t anybody play this here game?”, he was only talking about baseball. But what about news reporters?

Get a load of this gem from The New York Post.

Proposing to investigate how Hunter Biden paid his hookers, the writer babbled about “foreign and American prostitutes who allegedly cavorted with Hunter Biden before Congress, the Post has learned.”

I wonder when was the last time prostitutes cavorted before Congress. How was the attendance that day?

I had high school English teachers who would have plotzed if any student of theirs ever wrote a howler like that. And they didn’t give you extra credit if you volunteered to have your gender reassigned.

Well, why should our journalists be any better than our dindle in the White House?

Special Treat! ‘What Were They Thinking?’ (2015)

Goofy Headlines… – Conservative Baby Boomers Laugh and Learn…

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Actually, it’s not that hard to write a goofy headline. Imagine your job is to write hundreds of headlines and that you’ve been on your feet for almost 20 hours. That’s how I wound up writing a goofy headline or two.

But here’s a collection of real howlers!

What were they thinking?

Don’t be put off by the blank space above. Click the headline and the pictures will appear. Trust me, these will make you laugh out loud.

A Very Confusing Headline

Image result for images of angry turkey attacking man

My editor, Susan, likes to bring me up to date on the news each morning, because she knows I don’t follow it after 5 p.m. So this morning she read me a headline:

“Turkey charges Saudis–”

What! Instantly my mind provided an image of an angry, feisty turkey attacking a group of men in Arab dress, and them scattering in a panic. You know how turkeys can be.

“–in Khashoggi murder.”

If they’d stopped at the first half of the headline, many of us would’ve stopped with the mental image of the boisterous turkey.

But then the lore of messy headlines is a rich vein of treasure. “Fort Worth Rancher Has Biggest Horns in Texas.” “Man Eats, Then Robs Restaurant Owner.” “Imam Says Journalists Should Be Beheaded During Fox News Interview.” You get the picture.