How to Stop a Rapist: Use ‘The Force’

A top national broadcaster in Finland–please don’t ask me to pronounce or spell his name–has recommended that women use… well, magic! to protect themselves from rape ( ).

It has been suggested that the guy was only joking. Well, if it was a gag, considering the rape epidemic unleashed on Europe by its loony leaders and their mass importation of lawless Muslims, it was in very poor taste.

So… if you think some low-life means to rape you, all you gotta do is hold up your empty hand, Star Wars-style, and push him back without touching him. I’ve seen this in kung-fu movies, too, and it always works. But if, in the unlikely event that it doesn’t work on the back streets of Helsinki, then you must do it with two hands. And if that don’t work, clout him with your purse.

It has to be something like that because Finland, like most European countries, allows no meaningful methods of self-defense. You can’t have a gun, pepper spray, or a nice Crocodile Dundee knife. Makes it easy pickin’s for the criminals.

After you successfully beat down a rapist using nothing but The Force, proceed immediately to your nearest Star Wars church and give thanks to Obi-Wan or whatever.

Do they understand, anymore, that Star Wars is a movie? Not real? Something they made up in Hollywood? Do they even understand that anymore?

You tell me.