Tag: high school football

Coach Suspended… for Winning

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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Too much success! Forbidden!

If you ever thought there could be anything too trivial, too unimportant, for government to stick its nose into, think again.

A high school football coach in New York has been suspended after his Plainedge team defeated South Side H.S., 61-13 (https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/02/nyregion/football-coach-suspended-sportsmanship.html). Both teams had been undefeated, going into the game; so a blowout would hardly be expected, but that’s what happened.

Aha! But Nassau County has a rule against lopsided high school football victories–and a special “panel” to deal with that very thing. Winning by more than 42 points is not allowed. Bad coach! Bad football players! You scored too many points! Don’t you know that that’s a very naughty thing to do?

So what are you supposed to do, if you’re the coach and your team is 42 points ahead with half the game yet to go? You could pull your starters and play your scrubinis–but what if they get inspired, and score a touchdown? Bad on you!

Or you could order your team to employ the “See No Evil” Defense, in which the defending players stand perfectly still with their hands over their eyes, singing “I am a Rock, I am an Island” while the other team runs plays.

Or the stupid county could just plug in a simple rule: the moment one team gets 42 points ahead, the game is automatically over, the leading team wins.

I used to like football. Now I look at it with the same mix of puzzlement and horror that one feels for certain long-expired relationships–the kind that have you muttering to yourself, “What in the world did I ever see in So-and-So?”

Now It’s a 10-Year-Old Motivational Speaker

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

(Thanks to Susan for the news tip.)

This is one of those things I wish I could unsee–a 10-year-old kid serving as a motivational speaker for his local high school football team.

Can you imagine the size of his ego by the time he’s twenty?

Really, this whole thing of being lectured to by children is getting out of hand. “I’ve seen a lot of things,” he declares. Must’ve been a busy ten years. And when he’s done, the whole roomful of hulking football players springs up to give him a standing ovation. I guess they can’t just go out there and play the freakin’ game. What is this–a high school football team, or the United Nations General Assembly?

The videos have gone viral on social media. Next thing you know, Junior’ll be doing Amway conventions.

High School Football Head-Hunter

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Here in my home state this past weekend, Linden High School was playing football versus Immaculata when a Linden defensive player tore the helmet off an Immaculata player and bashed him in the head with it ( http://www.foxnews.com/sports/2015/09/16/shocking-hs-player-rips-off-opponent-helmet-bashes-him-in-head-with-it/ ). The incident occurred in front of a crowd of witnesses and may be viewed on video.

Ain’t that just swell? The victim needed ten stitches. But you haven’t yet heard the best part of it.

You would think the attacker would be immediately ejected from the game, that Linden would have to forfeit the game to Immaculata, that the attacker would be kicked off the team and charged with criminal assault and battery–and you’d be wrong.

No one was ejected. Linden was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct. No one was kicked off the team. No one was suspended from school. Instead, Linden High School officials–educationese for “overpaid, superfluous administrative staff”–are, as usual, “conducting an investigation.”

Public school is where we’re all supposed to send our kids to be socialized, right? Huh?

And we keep on doing that because–?

Search me!

PS–I’ve watched the video a couple of times and I believe it’s just remotely possible that the Linden player did not intend to hit the Immaculata player in the head, but only wished to tear off his helmet and throw it away.

Like that makes such a world of difference.