Our New Toaster Oven

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If you’ve ever been on board a World War II-era submarine, you’ll have an idea of the size of our kitchen. Not exactly a place to dance the tango.

So when the UPS man came today with our new toaster oven in an enormous cardboard box, all I could say was, “Nom d’un nom!” A la Hercule Poirot. And Patty said, “We’ll have to move.”

But it turned out to be smaller than the box, and it just barely fits on our counter. The only thing missing was an engineer to put it all together. The plethora of knobs and dialed rather dazzled me. I think one of them is for time travel. Anyway, now we’re all set for chops and drumsticks. I hope. My wife is smart, she’ll figure it out.

P.S.–Yesterday we got our new toilet flapper, which I installed successfully… up to a point. But it does work better than the old one.

P.P.S.–Someone’s in the kitchen talking to herself. I’d better go see what’s up.

Do Inanimate Objects Think?

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A little while ago, our toilet flapper stopped working properly. That’s the little plastic doohickey that lifts out of its hole when you flush and then pops back in to make the water stop running when the tank is full again. I made several adjustments that seemed to work for a while, but in the end, I would up having to lift the lid and put the flapper back in its hole by hand. So we ordered a new one.

I believe the term “Artificial Intelligence” is a deliberate deception; but I wonder: do certain inanimate objects… think?

Because, the very day we were notified that our new flapper is available, the old one started working again. “See? See? I’m all better now, honest! You don’t need to replace me!”

I guarantee you that within seconds of us canceling the order, the old flapper will return to its evil ways and totally stop working.

We’re not going to fall for that.