A Fantastick Exspearmint!!

Hear at collidge us interllecturals is way smarter then yiu ordrinary dum peple out thare. And its a goood thing tooo becose i had a expearance yestraday that mihgjt of nocked me for a loop! i went out side “and” al these Moths, lyke hunnerds of them thay was flyin al aruound me and flyin into My mouth and al, it was horrble!

So i run over to the Realty Stodies Depotment wear i get my Moth Hormoans shot into me and the prefesser thare he was reel exited! Dont yuo “kno whatt this” meens, he sayed, “it meens yiu is givin off” Fear Moans! Fear Moans it is a kind of chemacle that bugs an other insecks thay give off, its like Perfume, the other Moths thay smel it and it drives them Crazy! it makes them want to Mate. The prefesser he sayed i was makin Fear Moans and thats why al them Moths thay was followin me.

Wel i dint kno abuot that I thught these hear Moth Hormoans thay suposed to Turn “me” into a wimmin but insted i got them Antenners groing outta my four head and now i got Fear Moans. But the prefesser he sayed “never mind abuot turnin into a wimmin, this is somthing much much Bigger!

And he sayed Yiu “know whatt,” we ouhgjt to “Send yiu over to” Prefesser Bzuccholloghsky (sory, i got prombles tryin to spel his nayme), “he got this hole Mix of Hormoans from Spiders and Fish and other stuf and Let me tel yiu A Secrit! He and his stodents thay workin on a Hormoan Mix that thay jist only got to putt into the drinkin Watter and gess what it wil do? It wil turn all the Men in Americka into Wimmins and all the Wimmins into men!”

I aksed whatt he want to do That for, and the prefesser he hitt me! and then he sayed “whyy it wil make The Hole country Trans Gender that’s whatt it wil doo!” and than thare wont be no more Trans Fobia and No more Homo Fobia “and” it wil totaly Solve the promble of Cissexism that’s whatt! And he sayed i cuod sine Up for that exspearmint and how I shuld do it becose “This hear is the Biggest exspearmint ever and It Will change the hole worrld!!!”

So i sayed i wuld has to Think abuot it and culd i pleass “have” some hankerchiffs to ete becose i gettin hongry. I wil lett yiu kno whatt “i” deeside later!

Lee and his Stopid Catt

Boy that lee is stopid, he going al aruound today tryin to buy a inhaler face mask for his catt what has asma. Can yiu imaggion goin to al that troubble for a catt?? OK Lenin had a catt and Lenin was a truely grate man! but if his catt had asma he wuld have just shott her.

Meenwile i got some goood news! yuo remmembre them moth antenners that growed on my fourhed? wel I has disscovert i can wigle my feeelers! My prefesser he sayes this hear is trembendous pogress and i wil get Extre credit for it! I “knew” somthin “like this wuld hapen he sayed” and al becose they been shootin me up whith them Moth hormoans.

So, anyway, meenwile that dumbo lee stil tryin to by that inhaler thing for his catt and thats becose he istnt a interllectural and he dont know enuogh jist to forgit abuot the stopid cat, this is watt hapens to yiu when you dont be goin to Collidge, he sayes he can fixx the old maks with duck tape for the time bein wich is jist watt yiu wuld except some dopy guy to say. He jist wastin his time wehn he shuld oughjt to be in collidge larning how to be smart!