‘Another Mad Panic’ (2017)

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Goin’ total bug-house crazy…

It’s not just Americans who panic at the drop of a hat. Back in 2017, British commuters forced open the doors of their train and leapt out onto the electrified tracks to escape from a man…(wait for it!)… who was reading the Bible.

Another Mad Panic

Yes, dozens of people went completely wacko over somebody reading the Bible. He even stopped when they asked him to, but that didn’t stop panicked commuters from saying that he had a bomb–which he didn’t.

I think this is because the only people you’re allowed to be afraid of anymore are Christians. It’s the only group that hasn’t been awarded special protections by a utopian government.

Why is it that the harder we try to create utopia, the uglier a mess we make?

It’s Panic Time!

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You may have noticed I haven’t been writing about the coronavirus, which everyone else is writing about so who needs me? Besides which, I can’t make up my mind whom to believe.

Now, we generally buy a bottle of alcohol when we go grocery shopping, and it lasts us a week or so. But when we went to buy one this morning, the supermarket shelves were bare. The sign said “Limit of Five,” but all the alcohol was gone.

Who needs five bottles of isopropyl alcohol? Are all these people setting up their own clinics?

Meanwhile Democrats–they just can’t help themselves–are licking their lips and rubbing their hands together. “Yessss, oh yesssss! If a lot of people get sssick, we can blame it on Trump and win the election, my preciousssss!” They’re happy the stock market’s down today, too.

But what do people expect to happen? They’re carrying on like it’s The End O’ The World. Somehow bloody everything winds up as The End O’ The World. Like it’s the default position.

And we always wind up hearing that only a global government with absolute power over every aspect of our lives… can save us. Hot dog.