Take That, Bugs!

I love the little American anoles, often called “chameleons,” which they’re not. They don’t have the magic tongues. They’ve got to sneak up on insects and quickly grab ’em before the bug can assess the danger.

All it takes is keen eyesight, patience, and superb muscular coordination.

Note: I passed up video of a savannah monitor lizard eating a rattlesnake. I had a savannah monitor once and I wouldn’t dream of feeding her rattlesnakes.

The best lizards to feed are iguanas. They can eat whatever you’re having for supper. Polish off a bowl of raspberries in seconds flat.

I wonder how many anoles you’d need to patrol your house and keep it bug-free.

Invasion of Giant Hungry Lizards?

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This one is tame–I think.

Those scary stories about alligators living in our city sewers turned out to be an urban legend. But here’s something almost as bad that’s definitely not a legend.

Wild colonies of South American tegu lizards have established themselves in Florida and are doing well enough to threaten to “march across the South” as far as the Carolinas and Texas, wildlife experts say (https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-lizards/invasion-of-big-voracious-lizards-threatens-u-s-south-study-idUSKBN1KO1AF).

How did that happen? People acquire the tegus as pets, get tired of them, and let them go.

Tegus are heavy, muscular lizards with big heads and strong jaws, and they can grow to be four feet long. In Florida they’re eating alligator and bird eggs, any small animals they can catch, and fruit. As tegu owners already know, tegus are not picky eaters. They’ll scarf down practically anything; and getting bitten by a large tegu would feet like getting your hand caught in a car door. Trust me, I know. My savannah monitor (you could easily mistake it for a tegu) nailed me once, and you should’ve heard me howl. And that was just a warning bite, as in “No more medicine, you putz!” If she’d meant business, it would’ve gone hard with me.

There’s nothing wrong, I’d say, with having a tegu for a pet; but it’s very wrong to release one into the wild. Can’t we be decent to our animals? Acquiring a pet of any kind ought to be a loving commitment for as long as the animal lives.

I had to part with my monitor. I had to medicate her, the treatment was successful, but she hated it and it left her with a deep grudge against me. Eventually I found a man, affiliated with the Staten Island Zoo, who had remodeled his home to house his collection of really cool reptiles, and he was happy to adopt Spot. If a monitor lizard could purr, she would have purred when I handed her over to her new owner. Made me feel about two inches tall, but I’m sure I did the right thing.

If you’re not going to keep and love your pet, you shouldn’t have it in the first place.

Meanwhile, the tegus are coming, the tegus are coming…

Beware the Komodo Dragon!

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Hi, Mr. Nature here, with a warning to all you eco-tourists–don’t mess with apex predators.

In Komodo National Park, Indonesia, recently, a tourist from Singapore, eager to take really cool pictures, ignored warnings and ventured too close to the Komodo dragons while they were eating goats. He was so absorbed in picture-taking that he didn’t notice another lizard creeping up on him–and the dragon practically took his leg off ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4473224/Tourist-50-attacked-Komodo-dragon-Indonesia.html). Warning: news link contains gory pictures.

The Komodo dragon–“the world’s largest living lizard,” as Bob and Ray were so fond of saying–grows up to ten feet long and can weigh anywhere from 150 to 300 pounds. There aren’t many of them left in this world, and they’re strictly protected. They’re also a major tourist attraction.

In their little island world, though, these are the apex predators, top of the food chain; and because they’re protected, and have so little experience in dealing with human beings, they have no fear of man and will eat you if they can. If their size and strength don’t do you in, their bite is also venomous. Since 1974, five park visitors have died after being bitten.

My own monitor lizard, Spot, a savannah monitor only two feet long, once took exception to the medicine I was giving her and chomped down on my finger. Because she was only making a statement, and not seriously committed to fixing my wagon but good, I still have the finger. But her bite felt just like getting a car door slammed onto my hand. P.S.–The savannah monitor isn’t poisonous.

So… the next time someone invites you to swim with the sharks, or get up close and personal with a pride of lions… just say no. Top predators deserve respect!