Tag: vintage 1950s pop culture

Memory Lane: Major Hoople

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You may have heard me say “Fap!” now and then, and probably asked yourselves, “Did he say ‘fap’? What’s fap?”

I grew up with Sunday color comics in the newspaper, and one of my favorites was “Our Boarding House,” featuring Major Amos B. Hoople, a lovable pompous windbag whose wife, Martha, controlled him by making him go outside to beat the rugs. I wonder if anybody still beats rugs.

Anyhow, when the major’s at a loss for words, he often resorts to his customary exclamations, “Fap!” Usually followed by “Hak-kaff” or “Harrumph!” This sort of eloquence is seldom met with nowadays.

I am unable to confirm a report that Major Hoople left home to become a Diversity Reponse Team People’s Investigator at Fimbo University.

Memory Lane: ‘The Battle of New Orleans’

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Well, I got Newswithviews done, my head is hot, and this is my second attempt to publish this post. *Sigh*

Johnny Horton’s Battle of New Orleans was the No. 1 hit song in 1959. Remember? I heard a snatch of a rap “song” today, “Silent, Violent, livin’ it up in the city,” and the cultural contrast was downright painful. Imagine a song about our country’s history being No. 1 today. If it ever got published at all, Democrats would be apologizing for winning the battle.

Meanwhile, in 5th grade, my friend Craig (who, years later, had a tryout with the Cincinnati Reds) and I  used this song as the basis of a classroom puppet show: we had all been assigned to make papier-mache hand puppets and put on little shows with them. My puppet was named Cheeko, on account of a certain asymmetry in his features. Our two puppets sang this song. It was already so popular, a couple of misshapen puppets couldn’t do much damage to it.

It was a wonderful year in which to be 10 years old.

(Gee, I hope this post works, this time!)

Memory Lane: Jim Kjelgaard–a *Great* Young Readers’ Storyteller

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Outlaw Red–see that cover? And dig the 35-cent price. This book was one of my prized possessions when I was 11 or 12 years old; and its author, Jim Kjelgaard (died 1959), was one of my very favorite storytellers.

I say “storyteller” instead of “writer” because that’s what Kjelgaard was, a pure storyteller. He immersed you in his story. You could read the book again and again, and its spell would never fade.

What kind of stories did he tell? Adventure! Discovery! A lot of stories about dogs, with the dog as the protagonist. In Outlaw Red, we follow a prize-winning Irish setter, separated from the humans who coddled him, to see if he can survive in the wilderness. His name is Sean–which, of course, I read as “Seen” and wondered why anybody would give such a funny name to a dog. There’s also a brave boy in the story.

Another major Kjelgaard favorite of mine was Fire Hunter, about the adventures of a boy in distant prehistoric times, who gets separated from his people and has to learn a lot of important survival lessons in a hurry.

Today we have Young Readers fiction about drugs, aberrant sex, superstition, self-mutilation–really, enough to make you puke. It’s what liberal loons in the publishing business think kids want to read about. The best 20 of ’em aren’t worth Jim Kjelgaard on his worst day.

Thanks to amazon.com and other online book vendors, Jim’s books are again available to you, your children, and your grandchildren. Believe me when I tell you that they’re absolutely wonderful!