Fight Cultural Appropriation!

Image result for pictures of phoenician alphabet

It ain’t Social Justice to take things from another culture–be it a costume, a kind of music, a cuisine, whatever–and just go ahead and use them as if they belonged to your own no-good stupid culture. That’s called Cultural Appropriation, and it’s got to stop.

Dr. Hamilcar Suzuki, president of the Phoenician Movement for Sure (PMS), wants the alphabet back.

“We invented it, back in ancient times, and it’s our stuff and we want it back!” declares Suzuki. “All over the world, people and other Racists use our alphabet without so much as a by-your-leave, to say nothing of payment of due royalties and residuals. The Greeks stole the alphabet from us, the Romans stole it from the Greeks, and now everybody’s got it and we don’t see a dime of what’s coming to us! Say hey, if you won’t pay, then you can’t play! It’s our alphabet, they have to pay to use it, and if they won’t, then let ’em use that crummy old cuneiform or Egyptian hieroglyphics.”

Although PMS currently has only two members, Dr. Suzuki and his niece, Wanda, the United Nations has recognized it as a bona fide non-governmental organization and granted it a seat among its official NGOs.

“Anyone who wants to use the alphabet can now pay for it through the UN,” Suzuki says. “Make checks payable to cash–and strike a blow for Social Justice while you’re at it.”

9 comments on “Fight Cultural Appropriation!

  1. I agree with Dr. Suzuki, completely. This is an outrage!

    The thing is, I invented outrage and anyone that so much as thinks the word owes me lots and lots of moola. 🙂

  2. You should soon become very wealthy in this case, since everybody and his dog is filled with “your” outrage. Let us know how it works for you. I’m sure we can all take a leaf from your book and find our own ways to fame and fortune.

    1. That will be $7,000,000 please.

      Hey, all I have to do is sell this to one person with the means to pay and I’m on easy street. 🙂

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