The Regime’s new assistant secretary of education, Ima Thugg, has complained about the “free speech zones” found on many college campuses.
“It don’t matter how small they are!” said Ms. Thugg, who has half a doctorate in Gender Studies that she got when she was a woman, and another half she got as a “man.” “I don’t care if it ain’t no bigger than a postage stamp! Because guess what! The sound carries outside the free speech zone! It defeats the whole porpoise of the thing!”
Ah! But there is an answer to the problem. “I seen this on TV,” said Dr. Thugg, “it was in a education show called Get Smart. They had this thing called The Cone of Silence that came down on top of them when they wanted to talk in private and didn’t want no one to hear what they said.
“So if you was to go into the free speech zone and this here plastic cone came down on top of you so that nobody could hear you, then even if you said Hate Speech or something it wouldn’t matter because you’d be in the Cone of Silence and nobody would hear anything you said! And that takes care of any stupid First Amendment problems!”
The Dept. of Education will now seek approval from the Chinese Communist Party to spend $355 billion on cones of silence.