From February 12, 2022
The “Cone of Silence” bits from Get Smart were some of the funniest TV comedy ever. Edward Platt (the Chief) never failed to make me laugh; and of course you had Don Adams, too.
It made me laugh then, and it makes me laugh now. They worked up several dozen variations on this theme, every one of them hilarious. YouTube has a bunch of them, if you want to laugh yourself silly.
Get Smart ran from 1965 to 1970. That’s a lot of Cone of Silence gags!
The solution to the problem–the Cone of Silence!
Amazingly enough, three years ago a college professor figured out a way to prevent any adverse speech at all, while permitting “free speech” in a place where no one could hear it.
We don’t hear much about “free speech zones” anymore, do we? I wonder what happened to them.
Or is it just understood by now that of course there’s no free speech on any college campus, what are you thinking of?
The Regime’s new assistant secretary of education, Ima Thugg, has complained about the “free speech zones” found on many college campuses.
“It don’t matter how small they are!” said Ms. Thugg, who has half a doctorate in Gender Studies that she got when she was a woman, and another half she got as a “man.” “I don’t care if it ain’t no bigger than a postage stamp! Because guess what! The sound carries outside the free speech zone! It defeats the whole porpoise of the thing!”
Ah! But there is an answer to the problem. “I seen this on TV,” said Dr. Thugg, “it was in a education show called Get Smart. They had this thing called The Cone of Silence that came down on top of them when they wanted to talk in private and didn’t want no one to hear what they said.
“So if you was to go into the free speech zone and this here plastic cone came down on top of you so that nobody could hear you, then even if you said Hate Speech or something it wouldn’t matter because you’d be in the Cone of Silence and nobody would hear anything you said! And that takes care of any stupid First Amendment problems!”
The Dept. of Education will now seek approval from the Chinese Communist Party to spend $355 billion on cones of silence.