Gnus for News?

See, this is what happens when nobody reads!

It was supposed to be News at 4, the latest project of the Crummy News Network. Celebrity anchor Dan Rather was all set to return to prime-time news.

But because the instructions were delivered verbally, over the phone, instead of in writing–standard studio policy, because so many employees can’t read–News at 4 was transformed (fundamentally!) into Gnus at 4.

The fact that it has turned into the No. 1 rated gnus show came nowhere near to mollifying Rather, who exploded into one of history’s great tantrums and finally walked off the set after he regained control of his bodily functions.

“Well, sure, Dan was upset,” said CNN Managing Director Biff Trotsky. “I mean, who wants to narrate a half-hour of gnus just hangin’ out, eatin’ grass? But I’m here to tell Dan, ‘That’s the last offer you’re gonna get, sunshine.'”

A recent viewer poll had 77% percent saying that “gnus just hanging out” was a big improvement over regular news.

2 comments on “Gnus for News?

  1. The big dark one standing in front must be the chief of the pack (herd?). He doesn’t seem pleased that an invader with a camera has come near.

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