Profiles in ‘Culturally Black’

50 Cute Puppy Pictures That You Need to See — Puppy Pictures | Reader's  Digest

How did that kitten get into the lineup?

Forget that 100% Macedonian pedigree, and ignore the Egyptians crying bloody murder: Queen Cleopatra was [trumpet fanfare] Culturally Black! No less an authority than The New York Times says so.

On the heels of this stunning victory, Netphlicks is going to roll out a whole series of “Profiles in Culturally Black.” In fact, the first two installments are just about ready to go on the air.

No. 1: Thomas Edison. Born into slavery in California, young Thomas Edison listened to street-wise sex workers and then went out and invented the light bulb, the phonograph, and the electric waffle iron. He also wrote a few of Shakespeare’s plays. Will Smith has the title role. Directed by someone with a Ouija board.

No. 2: Kaiser Wilhelm II.

The best pictures of Kaiser Wilhelm II – Historical articles and  illustrationsHistorical articles and illustrations | Look and Learn

We think of Kaiser Wilhelm II as the supreme ruler of Germany, way back when; but this 11th son of an Alabama sharecropper had to claw his way up the ladder of success and would never have made it without lots of Affirmative Action. White liberals were always there to help! Guest star: Mario Procaccino.

Project Big Cheese Dilly Maroony called Profiles in Culturally Black “our legacy to history–and anyone who criticizes it in any way is a Racist! We are a steam roller, baby! Hop on board or get crushed! Netphlicks rules!”


6 comments on “Profiles in ‘Culturally Black’

  1. To the best of my knowledge, Cleopatra was actually Greek, but why let facts get in the way of a good headline, NYT? 🙂

    1. Now, now! Just because we have sculptures of her, and images of her face on coins, created by persons who had actually seen her, does not mean she wasn’t as black as, oh, Jackie Kennedy.

  2. Wow, someone else who remembers Mario Procaccino. The year he ran for Mayor (1969) against Marchi and Lindsay, I wrote in Gil Hodges. 🙂 (That’s not a joke, by the way. I really did it. I figured that anyone who could lead the Mets to a World Series victory could run New York City.)

    I think there ought to be a movie about that great culturally black ruler Catherine the Great — who was also transgender, but there’s a dispute about whether she was transmale or transfemale.

  3. Our sorry excuse for a President, Biden, spoke at the commencement graduation of an all-black college this week, and went on a rampage about how White Supremist Americans are (but not Joe himself, mind you). He received tippet applause from the grads were felt obligated to clap. But then again, an empty suit really doesn’t have anything of substance to say except what is written for him on a teleprompter.

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