Rushing to keep their date with Davy Jones
Our leaders like us to believe they’re wise, clever, intelligent, well-informed, and always equal to the occasion.
Anything farther from the truth would be quite difficult to imagine.
Really, it’s more like nincompoops playing with matches and M-80s in someone’s living room. I knew a kid in high school who blew half his hand off, that way. He was looked upon as an authority.
Is that how you get to be an authority?
How did that kitten get into the lineup?
Forget that 100% Macedonian pedigree, and ignore the Egyptians crying bloody murder: Queen Cleopatra was [trumpet fanfare] Culturally Black! No less an authority than The New York Times says so.
On the heels of this stunning victory, Netphlicks is going to roll out a whole series of “Profiles in Culturally Black.” In fact, the first two installments are just about ready to go on the air.
No. 1: Thomas Edison. Born into slavery in California, young Thomas Edison listened to street-wise sex workers and then went out and invented the light bulb, the phonograph, and the electric waffle iron. He also wrote a few of Shakespeare’s plays. Will Smith has the title role. Directed by someone with a Ouija board.
No. 2: Kaiser Wilhelm II.
We think of Kaiser Wilhelm II as the supreme ruler of Germany, way back when; but this 11th son of an Alabama sharecropper had to claw his way up the ladder of success and would never have made it without lots of Affirmative Action. White liberals were always there to help! Guest star: Mario Procaccino.
Project Big Cheese Dilly Maroony called Profiles in Culturally Black “our legacy to history–and anyone who criticizes it in any way is a Racist! We are a steam roller, baby! Hop on board or get crushed! Netphlicks rules!”