G’day, me hearties! Byron the Quokka here, with this weekend’s bumper crop of fabulous TV, brought to you by Quokka University. Dig this sample!
6:34 P.M. Ch. 45 NEWS WITH CACKLING–(What do you expect?)
Join anchors Kaboola Kazoola and Ferdie Gurdy as they cackle and guffaw their way through the news! Grand prize to any viewer who can prove he or she understood it! Also featured: sports with some guy who says everything backwards.
6:45 P.M. Ch. 49 ROW YOUR BOAT ON DRY LAND!–Nitwits
Just because something’s pointless doesn’t mean it’s impossible! This week: Nitwits who use chain saws to saw their tool sheds in half. Host: Carlo Barlow (he keeps trying to escape, but they keep catching him). Special guests: the June Taylor Dancers in “Coccyx, Anyone?”
7 P.M. Ch. 08 ME AND MY FLIES–Situation comedy
Pookie Van Der Gross is the only kid at Willie Sutton Middle School who has his own swarm of flies that follow him everywhere he goes. This week: Chemistry teacher Mrs. Bangshot (Irene Ryan) gets what’s coming to her–Bzzzzzz!
7:22 Ch. 14 MOVIE–Another one of those killer puppet things
Mike Pfart plays the kindly old puppet-maker, Giuseppe, whose puppets come to life and embark on a crime spree that brings Castel Buffo to its knees. Mayor Fanabla: Seymour Hersch. Police Chief: Heather Locklear. Sumo champion: He wears a mask, so it doesn’t matter who plays him. (Indonesian, 1998: 11 minutes)
Well, I hope you’ve got plenty of tasty snacks to carry you through the weekend. Cousin Foozie has an autographed picture of the kid who plays Pookie–guaranteed to bring bad luck!
Check out the bike in the background. If it’s still there tomorrow morning, it’s mine!
Byron the Quokka signing off.
Y’r lookin’ great, Byron, Ol Top. You really stay on the job. Good on ‘ya.
(You have no idea how hard it was to do that today.)
I’m sorry. What kiind of diffiiculty are you experiencing, our Friend?
Oh, the parking lot was a mess of ice and slush, terrible footing, finally got the job done–and then, switch gears for the TV listings! Some days it’s not very easy to do that.
Ch. 45 NEWS WITH CACKLING–(What do you expect?) – A guy who can talk backwards is must-see. I once memorized the alphabet backwards to have fun with it, but I quit doing it and now would have to really practice getting that ability it back.
Oh, yes, I understand. Everything just gets harder and harder. Prayers for you.