G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here, with another weekend of boredom-busting TV brought to you by Quokka University! Here are just a few samples.
4:15 P.M. Ch. 11 MR. & MRS. GIDGET–Sitcom/Jacobean drama
You can’t focus on surfboards and bikinis all your life! Who’d know that better than Gidget (Maggie Smith), now a librarian who gets around on a cane. This week: Gidget gets caught smoking! Mr. Bilharzia: Jonathan Harris. Tillie Tattletale: Adrienne Barbeau.
4:30 P.M. Ch. 14 PERRY MAYSIN–Courtroom drama
In “The Case of the Cackling Candidate,” Perry (Doc Savage) defends a gibbon accused of plotting to steal the Constitution. White Hunter: Betty White. Special guest star: Fong Hsueh-ting as President Xi Jin-Ping. Joe-Bob: Sidney Toler.
Ch. 52 FIFTEEN HOURS’ WORTH OF NEWS IN FIFTEEN SECONDS!–Extremely fast news broadcast
Don’t look out the window, don’t count your change–you really do have only 15 seconds to catch the whole day’s news! They speed up the sound track like you wouldn’t believe, so you’ll have to learn to listen faster. Believe it, they cut no corners! Sports: Tongue-tied Freddie Blasiey.
5:00 P.M. Ch. 19 MOVIE–Sports/horror
Simon LeGree stars as N.Y. Feebs sluggard Daryl Footfungus in Pardon My Coccyx (Mycenaean, 1325 B.C.: 11 minutes), the only movie in which the titles and credits take more time to show than the movie itself! Directed by the United Nations Movie Council! Featuring the June Taylor Dancers. The Ghost of William Tell: Walter Brennan.
Well, folks, there’s four movies to get you started. Don’t miss that one about the coccyx!
Byron the Quokka, signing off (Mmm! Tasty leaves!)
Greetings, Byron, old chum. You are always on it.
Only 15 seconds to catch the whole day’s news would be a little to fast even for me. Any Youtube video or movie I watch, I always listen at at least 1.5. And sometimes 2.0 is not fast enough for me. I really do understand most things at that speed. I have a blind friend who listens and learns things while its zipping along so fast, I don’t understand a word.
I didn’t know that was possible.