Author: leeduigon(patty)

Imagine my dismay when, immediately after writing that I don’t know anyone who denies that dinosaurs ever existed, I discovered that the Internet is full of very silly persons who deny that dinosaurs existed.

“God is not a man, that He should lie” (Numbers 23:19) is a verse known to everyone who takes the Bible seriously. Therefore we rule out the possibility that God just tricked us by planting dinosaur bones in the earth, when He never created such creatures.

Most of the dino-denial seems to be coming from conspiracy theorists and other kooks. “Corporations” created all these fake fossils and planted them all over the world, probably to get us to buy Rice Krispies. Somehow the folks who made Frothee didn’t get in on this.

No, no–not the corporations! It was the secret allies of the Lizard People who created the fiction of dinosaurs, to cover up the successful invasion of earth by reptiloids from wherever.

Although the Bible makes no specific mention of dinosaurs, I take it for granted that God created them: because all that lives is the work of His hands. Having created them, what has God done with them? That’s one of the first questions I’ll ask when I get to Heaven.

Are there dinosaur hoaxes? Of course. Have there been dinosaurs that never really existed, but were mistakenly cobbled together by scientists out of unrelated parts? Yes, and more than you might think–it’s very easy to make mistakes when you’re trying to un-jumble a bone bed. Like all the rest of us, paleontologists are subject to wishful thinking, preconceived notions, the desire to one-up their colleagues, and the need to be recognized as real smart guys. And sometimes they just plain get it wrong. Big deal.

If you are offended by the word “dinosaur,” or the possibility that the guy over there by the water fountain might actually believe that dinosaurs existed…

You are a kook, and you should just shut up.

A government that engages in frivolous mischief has way too much money and needs to be cut back until it can’t afford the mischief anymore.

Case in point: a little item in the Drudge Report yesterday, “Seattle officials call for ban on ‘potentially offensive’ language.”

Uh… isn’t all language “potentially offensive”? But the city’s Office of Civil Rights–if your city can afford to have an office of civil rights, human rights, whatever, your city government has too much money–wants to do away with the word “citizen” because it doesn’t include everyone physically present in Seattle, and people who are not citizens might be offended, or fall down foaming at the mouth, or break out in hives, if they hear or read that word.

They also don’t want anyone to use the term “brown bag,” as in “a brown bag lunch,” for that will be offensive to African-Americans who make a career out of being offended.

This city needs its budget reduced until all persons engaged in such inane meddling are unemployed.

Meanwhile, in New York City, the municipal department of education has eschewed a number of common, everyday words.

For instance, the education muck-a-mucks now don’t want to use the word “dinosaur” because it might upset “fundamentalists” (lib-speak: a derogatory term for any Christian who actually believes in Christianity).

This is incredible. First, I know of no “fundamentalist” who insists that there were no dinosaurs. Secondly, coming from the edu-blockheads who run the city schools, and every day club fundamentalists’ children over the head with commercials for sodomy and gender-bending, and sermons on the rightness of abortion, it’s a bit rich, soft-pedaling dinosaurs because they don’t want to hurt Christians’ feelings. These morons have never kept it a secret that they despise Christianity and Christians.

But they also want to get rid of the word “birthday,” because it just might inspire “negative emotions” in some oddball somewhere. Again, this applies to any word in any language.

These “civil rights” language police won’t be happy until we’re all going around with duct tape over our mouths, free to speak only when they give us leave.

Let’s start with a 25% across-the-boards cut in government revenues–city, state, and federal alike–and see where we ought to go from there. Keep cutting until there’s no more diversity, human rights, inclusiveness, yatta-yatta, all the rest.

The Presbyterian Church USA is currently compiling a new hymnal. I can’t tell you what’s going to be in it, but we now know of something that’s not: a popular hymn by Keith Getty and Stuart Townsend, In Christ Alone.

The poobahs of the PCUSA rejected In Christ Alone because the lyrics contain this line:

“Till on that cross as Jesus died/ the wrath of God was satisfied.”

Doh! You can’t have that in a hymn! Why that’s elementary Christian doctrine! The PCUSA–remember, the PC stands for Presbyterian Church, not “politically correct”–suggested to the authors that they replace that line with the following meaningless drivel:

“Till on that cross as Jesus died/ the love of God was magnified.”

Dude! Isn’t that, like, more spiritual than the other? And so the notion of Christ dying as a substitute for us, atoning for our sins so that we might be saved, gets tossed out the stained-glass window, replaced by hollow, feel-good, New Age pseudo-theology. (No, dude, you don’t get it! Like, you know, now God loves us even more, because we killed His Son–!)

Oh, well. The Bible never told us we need denominations, did it? At least, I don’t think we need this particular denomination.

This is the kind of idea that would make New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg sit up in bed in the middle of the night and cry, “Aha! Why didn’t I think of this before?” But someone else has already beaten him to it.

A condo “community” in York County, Pennsylvania, has decided to set up a DNA data base for dogs so that any out-of-place doggie droppings can be traced to the actual canine perpetrators, and their owners fined. ( http://www.outsideonline.com/news-from-the-field/Condo-DNA-Tests-Dog.html ) It seems a lot of people aren’t picking up after their pets; and I guess the old folklore tradition of “You really stepped in it!” has lost a lot of its appeal.

Never mind just passing an ordinance to make failure to pick up the poo a misdemeanor, having the police keep an extra-sharp lookout until they catch someone in the act, and then making an example of him. Oh, no–this DNA data base for dogs is real high-tech!

DNA testing is extremely expensive, and the “community” will have to make dog licenses extremely expensive to cover the costs. That might not be enough: they might have to levy new condo fees on everyone, even those who don’t own dogs.

Somehow we always seem to have money to spend on this sort of thing, even with our economy collapsing. That, and the president’s vacations.

Again, I suggest that the people running the show in America have all gone quite loopy and need to be replaced by sane people. If we can find any.

So there I am this morning, at the dentist’s, waiting and waiting–and the TV is on in the waiting room.

You wouldn’t think there was any reason to remake Let’s Make a Deal, which was certainly odious enough in the original. But they have. Adult human beings in stupid costumes, carrying on like monkeys, the whole affair an orgy of lip-smacking lust for things they didn’t need and money they didn’t work for–always with the possibility that your winnings might suddenly go up in smoke… After 20 minutes of that, whatever the dentist might do to you doesn’t seem so horrible.

One thing you learn from watching this: dignity and self-respect are always up for sale, and they usually sell cheaply.

Oh! And those people in the stupid costumes, the huge fat woman drooling over the ski and snowboard set that she won, but couldn’t use if her life depended on it–

They vote.

Some woman in Arizona, possibly with visions of lucrative lawsuits dancing through her head, tweeted that she was plunged into a spasm of vomiting–not to mention acute psychological distress–when she discovered a chicken foot in the package of chicken breasts she bought at a Safeway supermarket.

She put a picture of it on her Twitter page, and now it’s all over the Internet. Just search “woman finds chicken foot” and you’ll find it. OK, in the photo that she took, the chicken foot looks vaguely like a hand reaching out from under the chicken breasts. But 99% of the comments show no sympathy and lots of contempt for this woman who is so freaked out by an ordinary thing like a chicken foot–especially in the context of a pack of chicken.

I’ve got that beat, though. At my local neighborhood produce stand, a woman came in ranting one day because her child saw a worm in a corncob that she bought there–“and I gotta get him into counseling!”

Counseling? Because the kid saw a worm in an ear of corn? Actually, I think the mother probably needed some counseling, too–or maybe just a swift kick in the kiester.

Honestly, where do people think food comes from? It all used to be alive, you know. As bland and tasteless as they are, especially with the skin stripped off, chicken breasts come from live chickens. And your corn on the cob came from seeds that were planted in the ground and grew into living things.

Makes you wonder about the future of this country, doesn’t it?