9th circuit court – Lee Duigon

‘Lawsuit Seeks to Abolish Bible-Reading in Church’ (2015)

leeduigon(patty)September 20, 2021

I rerun this little satire now and then to see how close we’ve come to turning it into an evil reality. When it first came out in 2015, it was kind of off-the-wall. Now, not so much.

Lawsuit Seeks to Abolish Bible-Reading in Church

I know a lot of us agree that our world is getting crazier and crazier–in fact, I don’t see how anyone can deny it. And it does seem sometimes, more often than is good for our souls, that the craziness is too big, too rich, too powerful, too widely planted to be meaningfully opposed. Who’s going to stop our rogue government from turning America into a satrapy of Red China? Or a clone of Venezuela?

God will overthrow them with a flick of His finger.

Dead Judges Can’t Vote

leeduigon(patty)February 26, 2019

(Thanks to Susan for the news tip.)

Sounds like it ought to be a movie, doesn’t it? Dead Judges Can’t Vote, starring Shemp Howard and the Ninth Circuit Court.

Actually, it’s a new ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court, and a finding that “federal judges are appointed for life, not for eternity” (https://www.foxnews.com/politics/supreme-court-says-vote-of-dead-progressive-icon-judge-does-not-count).

Judge Stephen Reinhardt of the Ninth Circus Court–the “progressive icon” that struck down California’s ban on same-sex pseudomarriage: did you know judges were allowed to be progressive icons? I didn’t. I thought they were supposed to rule on the law, not on the politics–died of a heart attack last year, nine days before the court was to issue a ruling–a case, in fact, in which his vote was the key vote. However, the rule says you have to be alive when the ruling is actually issued by the court: otherwise your vote doesn’t count. The same rule applies to the Supreme Court–and that voided several opinions by Justice Scalia when he died suddenly. They knew how he intended to rule, but with him dead, it didn’t count.

Reinhardt was appointed to the Ninth Circuit by Jimmy Carter, the second-worst president in history. He may not have been the worst judge, but he certainly tried to be.

Lawsuit Seeks to Abolish Bible-Reading in Church

leeduigon(patty)August 18, 2015

Don’t even think about asking me where I got this information, because I am not at liberty to tell.

A lawsuit is about to be filed before the 9th Circuit Court demanding that all Bible-reading, except for “secret private readings that the authorities are unable to monitor as yet,” be banned on the grounds that it violates the Separation of Church and State. The plaintiffs are a coalition of atheists and liberal churchmen, Americans for American Values and Other Good Things.

“Bible-reading must not be allowed, not even in the churches,” said law professor J. Wadsworth Polyp, a known idiot. “Churches are located in the state, therefore they are subject to Separation of Church and State.”

“Our church never opens the Bible,” said Priestess the Rev. Judi Kazooty, Presbyterian Church USA. “That’s because the Bible is, like, the most un-inclusive book ever. It breaks, like, every hate speech law. So we read Saul Alinsky and Al Gore instead.”

Polyp and Kazooty are respectively the chair-being and the also chair-being of Americans for American Values and Other Good Things. Their group, they say, represents “lots of people.”

“We are not asking the court to curtail freedom of worship,” Professor Polyp added. “You will still be allowed to go to church. You just won’t be allowed to say or read or write anything that goes against the State.”

Copies of the lawsuit can be obtained by stealing them from the professor’s office. He keeps them right under the copies of the final exams.