Are these cave men looking for the strike zone?
Let’s say you’re writing an epic novel of the events leading up to Noah’s Flood, thousands of years ago.
Can you envision any circumstances which would induce you to employ the phrase, “strike zone”?
Well, yeah, if you want to remind the reader that he’s not really visiting the ancient world, but just reading a stupid book about it.
My friend “Abner,” in his amazingly successful novelizations of Biblical events, resorts to every anachronism he can think of. Here are a few that light up the second book in his series.
“It depends on what ‘is’ is.”
“Hope and change”
“Fundamental transformation of society”
God accused of “colonialism, imperialism, sexism, speciesism” and also described as “macho”
“I feel your pain”
“You didn’t build that”
“The 99 percent”
“We”–the speaker is an archangel–“saved your rear ends”
All right, let’s be fair: he has stopped short of equipping Adam and Eve, in the Garden of Eden, with cell phones. Well, who would they call? And a cell phone might be a nuisance if pockets haven’t been invented yet.
Strike zone? Macho?
Please, whoever is out there thinking about writing a novel–if you’re writing fantasy or historical fiction, please do not riddle it with stupid and inane anachronisms that won’t make a lick of sense to a reader ten years from now but which surely will, for the time being, remind the current reader that all he’s doing is reading a mutton-headed comic book without pictures.
I must point out that I am paid to read these books. Otherwise I could not endure it.