“black national anthem”

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This is what it’ll look like when they’re done with it.

Today’s Sunday, it’s an NFL football day, and I am left out, boxed in, and teed off!

See, now they play a special “B”lack national anthem before they play the real one, and all the players kneel to show us peasants how oppressed they are, etc. Well, blow me down–we’re gonna need some more national anthems! Lots more. Why should “B”lacks be the only ones to get their own anthem?

I am half-German, a quarter French, and a quarter Irish–and there must be, oh, dozens out there like me! All feeling slighted and excluded and triggered by the fact that football won’t play our Franco-German-Irish national anthem–Le Marseilles Uber Alles Go Bragh!

And then they can play all the other national anthems that they want, and kneel for six hours if they want–I won’t care, as long as they’ve played my national anthem.

Always presuming I want to watch the game at all.

NFL protest proves Americans stuck on stupid - San Antonio Express ...

You mean this league hasn’t gone backrupt yet?

The suppurating mass of culture rot that is the National Football League has announced its plan to play “the Black [suddenly it requires a capital B] national anthem” before each and every game when the season opens Sept. 10 (https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/29401000/nfl-plans-play-black-national-anthem-week-1-games). And other Minorities are already complaining.

“How come they get their own national anthem, and we don’t?” said Jose Antonio Schmo, president of Undocumented Immigrants Waiting for Free Stuff. “What’s so special about blacks? We demand they play our national anthem, too!”

“What? No Gay and Lesbian national anthem?” cried Smarty Marty Zilch, last year’s director of “Bottoms Up.” He was answered by a spokes-whatever from the Transgender Activist Coalition: “If your national anthem gets played, ours gets played, too!

Similar remarks have been made by groups representing Native Americans, fat people, vegans, convicted felons, and the dead. They all want their own national anthems played before the football game.

But the biggest minority group of all has not only not been represented, but hasn’t even asked to be represented, much less demanded it.

“We just do what we’re told,” said an unidentified spokesjellyfish for Spineless Cowardly Americans Inc. “Don’t even bother to tell us what you want–we’ve already surrendered.”