Tag: buzzwords

Get With It! With ‘Smart Talk’

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Digital Versatile Disc Royalty-Free Images, Stock Photos ...

Do people just blow you off? Do you lack gravitas? Do they ignore you when you try to have a conversation? Well, bunky, we can change that for you, big-time!

New from Acme False Facts Inc.–Iconic Buzzwords Disk! Just slide ’em into your computer, lean back in your chair, and listen and learn! In no time at all, your family and friends, and even people who despise you, will be all ears when they see your lips moving.

Iconic Buzzwords (sh*t, I typed it “buzzards,” that won’t do!) will bring you up to date and cutting edge with all the latest gobbledygook and teach you how and when to use it. And it’s great in combination with your latest False Facts set. We have it on good authority that Beto O’Rourke has started using it. If he can come back from obscurity, so can you!

Gender Apartheid! Climate Mobility! Mega-election Year! You may not be a noozie or a politician, but you can certainly learn to talk like one! When in doubt, plug in a buzzword! Guaranteed Iconic! And suddenly everybody’s listening!

Order your first month’s disc today–we’re not gonna stop manufacturing them until the world runs out of buzzwords… and who’s ever gonna let that happen?

Special Introductory Offer: your first Iconic Buzzwords disc for the low, low price of $2.95 (plus $504.00 shipping and handling.

Plant Babble, Grow Poppycock

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Plant Equity, Grow Love" Greeting Card by HilltopHearth | Redbubble

[Thanks to Susan for roping me in with this nooze tip.]

“Equity” is the hot buzzword among libs, these days. The word used to mean “the quality of being fair or impartial.” The last impartial liberal died in the Devonian Period. As for fairness–! Do you really need to ask?

“Equity” has become so flexible in its use that it no longer has any meaning. It just sounds nice. It sounds like one of those things you don’t dare be against.

Now you can buy a hip, with-it greeting card that says “Plant Equity, Grow Love” (https://www.redbubble.com/i/greeting-card/Plant-Equity-Grow-Love-by-HilltopHearth/63179394.5MT14). That would be a lovely sentiment if we could ever decipher what it means. You know what happens to words when leftids get their hands on them. Look what they’ve done to “justice.” And “love.”

Speaking of justice, we are told this greeting card is an ideal way to trumpet your “commitment to environmental justice and the power of plants.” [Where are the barf bags?] How is “environmental justice” different from just plain “justice”? And what is the power of plants? Power to do what?

Personally, I would love to be able to plant equity and grow love.

I just wouldn’t buy my seeds from such profoundly dishonest people.

How to Talk Real Smart

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Image result for images of babbling fools

The biggest gun in the liberals’ arsenal is the claim, and the resulting perception, that they are smarter than the rest of us. Heck, it must be so–politicians, college professors, lawyers, TV noozies. They’ve gotta be smarter than ordrinary dum peple.

But now you, too, can be as smart as any liberal! All it takes is just a few little words, judiciously employed so as to be devoid of any meaning. A lot of intellectuals say there is no meaning to anything, anyhow; so you’re always on safe ground if you’re babbling.

Never say “I don’t know.” Instead, say, “Whatever we say or do must be proactive.”

If someone then gives you a blank look and says “Huh?”, tack on this sure-fire clincher: “Think digital, man! Think digital!” People hear that word a hundred times a day and hardly anybody knows what it means.

If, in the unlikely event that this line does not produce wise nods from your hearer, and he tries to question you some more, it’s time for the all-purpose conversation stopper:

“The way you’re talking, dude, anyone would think you were a racist. In fact, you probably are a racist.” You will either stop him in his tracks, and force him to agree with you, or else divert him into a total sidetrack as he tries to deny his racism. Expect a lot of fumfering!

There are, of course, other words that you can use, meaningless words that never commit you to any particular position. But these few are enough to get you started in a satisfying career as a real smart talker.