G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with another weekend’s worth of indescribably wonderful TV–just don’t ask me where it came from!
7:30 P.M. 02 MY MOTHER THE AXOLOTL–Science Fiction/Tragedy
Mom wants a new aquarium, but Henry’s biggest worry is the mad scientists who are trying to kidnap her and subject her to really weird experiments. Mom: Suzanne Pleshett. Henry: Andre the Giant. Mad Professor: Gregory Peck.
03 DR. HANGHAM, PUBLIC NUISANCE–Western
Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair makes his dramatic debut as Dr. Frank Hangham, master of totally unnecessary amputations in the Old West town of Nose Hairs, Nevada. Filmed in Hungary, with real Munchkins. Sheriff Chilblain: Mikhail Gorbachev. Mayor McCrackers: Sally Field Drunken Slattern: (Name Withheld)
7:14 P.M. 06 NEWS–Pee Wee Herman
8 P.M. 10 ANGELA MERKEL’S VARIETY HOUR–Variety
The perky, bubbly chancellor of Germany hosts Roderick Usher and his sock puppets, world self-face-slapping champion Marcus Carcass, a man who thinks he’s a poached egg, and the June Taylor Dancers. With Willie Sutton and his orchestra.
11 MOVIE–Mystery
“The Murders Under the Mailbox” (1988) Directed by children randomly chosen from fourth and fifth grades at recess, this stylish thriller features former NY Mets catcher Clarence “Choo Choo” Coleman as a detective haunted by his past–and by his mischievous imp of a daughter (Barbra Streisand). Guest Star: Some guy from Egypt, I can’t spell his name.
13 THREE STOOGES FASHION SHOW–Fashion/Drama
Rescued from the vaults of Atlantis, this forgotten series has it all–high fashion, shockingly expensive gowns, pie fights, eye-pokings, and prat falls. Slippery floors galore! Moe, Larry, and Curly with celebrity guests who don’t mind being humiliated on national TV. Special guest: Prince Philip.
