Tag: Byron’s TV listings

Byron’s TV Listings, April 30

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Dec. 26, 1959 TV Guide (ANNIE OAKLEY/GAIL DAVIS/CYD CHARRISE/BOBBY DARIN) | eBay

Gotta get this written up while Lee’s laptop is working!

G’day! Byron the Quokka here–and are you ready for indescribably fabulous TV, a whole weekend’s worth? Check out these samples from our menu.

4:30 P.M.  Ch. 07   PRETENTIOUS NINNIES–Public television

If you like interminable conversations by tedious ninnies in love with themselves, talking about foreign movies so dull, they make grass shrivel, you’ll really dig this! Host: Howdy Doody (the real one, not the puppet). This week: untitled 1967 Czechoslovakian movie about nothing at all. Guest: Magic Johnson.

Ch.  12  DANCIN’ THE NEWS–News and commentary

Instead of reading the day’s news, the June Taylor Dancers rely on interpretive dance to bring it to you. Communication without words! Host: Nature Boy Buddy Rodgers. Tonight: Analysis of the result of the Peruvian congressional elections, complete with high kicks.

5 P.M.  Ch. 14   MY SON THE INNER TUBE–Tragic sitcom

Nothing’s been the same for Kookie (Helen Hayes) and Mookie (Adlai Stevenson) since they begat their son, Pookie (Walter Slezak), a talking inner tube. Tonight, suddenly it’s so hard to keep Pookie properly inflated! Has he got a slow leak? Dr. Fanabla: Ward Bond.

5:16 P.M.  Ch. 88  NEWS WITH UNCLEAN BEN–A horrible mistake

We don’t even know what disease he supposedly has. He just keeps shouting “Unclean! Unclean!” Boris Spassky called this “absolutely the worst thing that was ever on television–worse even than Soviet TV!” News reports here are hopelessly fragmentary, punctuated as they are by Ben’s hysterical threats against his audience. “I’ll get you! I’ll get you all!” etc., etc.

6 P.M.  Ch. 46  THE MIDNIGHT MOVIE–Movie (what else?)

In “The Bowery Boys and the Ides of March” (Tannu Tuvan, 1956), Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall make a stir in Ancient Rome when they are mistakenly assassinated instead of Julius Caesar, the intended target. Brutus: Orville Redenbacher. Cassius: Chiang Kai-shek. Featuring Harold Stassen and his Orchestra.

Well, there you have it! Better pack it up for you before the computer packs it in.

Quokka: [PHOTOS] This wildlife photographer's love for Quokka has made the animal an Instgaram famous star | Trending & Viral News

This is Byron the Quokka, signing off.

Byron’s TV Listings, April 23

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Retrospace: TV Guide #19: May 8-14, 1982

G’day! Are you ready for TV that’ll make your tails curl? Well, we’ve got it! Right here.

I’m Byron the Quokka, and this is Quokka UTV’s menu for the weekend. Take a break from playing Clue and catch some of these fantastic shows.

5:37 P.M.  Ch. 06   ON THE POT–News/Commentary

Pay no attention to this show’s unfortunate name; it’s not what you think. Co-anchors Barbie Schnickelgrussen and Sammy the Koala (who doesn’t speak) cover world events that no other news show covers! Winner of the Oh Who Cares! Award for three years running.

6 P.M.   Ch. 16  MY THREE IDIOT SONS–Sitcom/tragedy

Lear and Lois Fishwife (Robert Young, Laura Bush) have their hands full with their three moronic sons, Moe, Larry, and Goofy (all played by hand puppets). This week, Moe is grounded for using dish detergent as salad dressing; and the college sends Larry and Goofy home as punishment for hiding under other students’ beds. Dean Zingo: Harry Guardino. Prof. Zongo: Y.A. Tittle.

Ch. 19   YAN CAN’T COOK BEANS–Cooking show

He can’t cook anything else, either. This is the show that makes your worst culinary disasters look like four stars from Gordon Ramsay. Featuring the June Taylor Dancers, which makes the kitchen kind of crowded, even dangerous, when they do those high kicks. This week: Yan can’t pour Cheerios into a bowl, poor guy.

6:30 P.M.  Ch. 29  MOVIE–Hard-boiled crime drama

“The Killer Wore a Sarong” (Turkish-Hittite, 1997) stars Jobbo the Stuffed Gorilla as hard-boiled private eye Rocky Pocky: inspired by the short-lived comic strip, “So Funny Ha-Ha.” Rocky has his work cut out for him when Lt. Freebish (Ugo Tognazzi) makes him the chief suspect in the case of The Sarong Killer. Ignore that crack about “So how do you kill a sarong?” With Alan Greenspan and his orchestra.

Ch. 51   MICKEY MANTLE DOES SHAKESPEARE–Classic drama managled

Only one episode of this unique show was actually aired; but they filmed two dozen of them, and Quokka UTV has got ’em! All of them feature NY Yankees slugger Mickey Mantle trying to describe various Shakespeare plays he never saw, with occasional help from catcher Yogi Berra, who reportedly disliked the show. Mickey’s incredulous reaction to Troilus and Cressida has to be seen to be believed.

Well, that’s that–a small sample of the bliss awaiting you when you tune in to Quokka UTV.

Meet the Quokka

This is Byron the Quokka, signing off.

Byron’s TV Listings, April 16

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TV Guide – Saturday, March 24, 1979 – Retro Hound

G’day! I’m  busier than a one-armed paper-hanger this morning! Byron the Quokka here, with another weekend’s worth of fabulous TV from Quokka University. And we had a close call bringing this to you, too! The networks almost got us.

Here are just a few samples from our scrumptious TV menu.

3:00 P.M.  Ch. 11   CHILDREN OF LUST–Damnfool soap opera

Petunia (Queen Elizabeth II) has an affair with the parking lot valet (Misterogers), while Mayor McGlue (Paul Anka) gives in to his morbid fascination with Boise, Idaho. Judge Judy: Tina Louise. Terrifyingly tall woman: Linda Hunt.

Ch. 33  THE BLIND, FEEBLE, CHICKEN-HEARTED SWORDSMAN–Action/Adventure

Need help? Don’t go to Hashimoto-san (William Shatner)! A young widow in desperate straits (Heather Locklear) seeks Hashimoto’s protection against a sadistic, powerful nobleman (Barry Manilow)… and the blind samurai can’t remember where he left his sword. With Inigo Montoya and his orchestra.

3:20 P.M.  Ch. 23  TALK OF THE TOWN–Interviews

Jimmy Fraud interviews a man whose cousin once met someone on a bus who’d seen a man who looked just like Uncle Fester from The Addams Family at a terminal somewhere in either Kentucky or Nevada, whatever. Also: Mrs. Fimbo demonstrates how to make a mess of your kitchen. Theme song: “I Busted My Coccyx”

4 P.M.  Ch. 16   MOVIE–Science Fiction

In “Tumbleweeds from Rigel IV” (Indian-Albanian, 2008), the June Taylor Dancers investigate reports of carnivorous tumbleweeds depopulating a sleepy little Western town that hasn’t changed since 1898 and still has cowboys and stuff. Special effects by idiots make it scary! Sheriff Hansen: Chiang Kai-shek. Sinister Space Alien: Himself (they found a real one!)

Ch. 48  TIO BORRACHO–Sitcom/Tragedy

You don’t have to understand Spanish to understand this one-of-a-kind Panamanian TV series. No one else understands it, either–including the actors and the writers. This week: Tio Borracho (Andy Devine) stumbles into a plate glass window and destroys it; and his ex-wife Matilda (Alice Faye) scolds him relentlessly in French–a language which he does not speak. Special guest star: H.P. Lovecraft

Well! If that doesn’t whet your TV appetite, I don’t know what will.

988 Quokka Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Byron the Quokka, signing off–and sharing a tasty root with my little cousin Ptolemy.

 

Byron’s TV Listings, April 9

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TV Guide Dec 3-9 1977 (4) - Flashbak

G’day, earthlings! Byron the Quokka here, with another weekend of scrumptious TV viewing brought to you by Quokka University, where even a kangaroo can get a college degree. I hope you’ve got plenty of nice chewy leaves put by… for this:

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 52  COLLIDGE BOLE–Game show for nincompoops

They couldn’t find any smart kids to remake the original “College Bowl,” so this will have to do. Host Jimmy Fraud asks teams of today’s college students questions that they have no hope of answering (“Who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb?” “Uh… Jupiter?”). First team to cry The Secret Buzzword (racism, sexism, white privilege: chosen at random each week) wins a master’s degree! With Yuan Shih-k’ai and his orchestra.

Ch. 61  HARRY PHOSPHATE–Mystery

The real mystery here is how this show ever got canceled! Detective Harry Phosphate (Oswald Spengler), assisted by the June Taylor Dancers, never fails to get bogged down in conversations about how he got such a weird last name. Half the time he forgets what he’s supposed to be investigating before the show is half over. This week: Harry fails to investigate the shooting of a police sergeant at his desk in the squad room in front of 30 eyewitnesses. Special guest star: Abdul Al-hazred.

7:38 P.M.  Ch. 09  THE NEWS IN TONGUES–(Don’t ask)

How about if the nightly news were delivered in tongues? Former televangelist Mooshy Beef joins co-anchor Betty Woont in paroxysms of meaningless babble. Note: The “tongues” are not real languages. On the plus side, all the commercials are in tongues, too.

8 P.M.  Ch. 19   MOVIE–Spy thriller with horseshoes

In “The Spy Who Never Spoke” (Austro-Hungarian, 1987), Marcel Marceau plays an Olympic skeet-shooting champion who, just after taking a vow of silence, witnesses an act of diabolical sabotage perpetrated by–wait for it–Bugs Bunny. How does Marceau keep the Reykjavik Exciting Products Super Mall from being blown up… when he’s never learned how to write? Lt. Sigfusson: Peter Lawford. Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies: Irene Ryan.

8:30 P.M.  Ch. 44  ROOTIN’ TOOTIN’ SHOOTIN’–Western drama

What would classical Greek tragedies look like, if they were adapted as American TV Westerns? Watch out when Sheriff Oedipus Rex (Burgess Meredith) starts shooting–no one knows where those bullets might be headed! Better duck into Antigone’s Saloon. “The Trojan Women” dance there now. This week: The Minotaur is on the loose again–hiding out amid a herd of longhorns. Antigone: Phyllis Diller. Theseus: A trained koala named Ducky.

Well, there you have it–the merest sample of the unbridled pleasure that awaits you on QUTV this weekend. Go for it! Byron the Quokka, signing off.

Quokka Facts | Mental Floss

Byron’s TV Listings, March 26

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CTVA - US TV Listings - 1958

G’day! Crikey, it’s already the last weekend in March. I don’t know how you humans do it, using up the days. But here at Quokka University, represented by me, Byron the Quokka, we’ve got the TV shows to help you do it. Here’s a sample.

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 03  MILD, MILD WEST–Incredibly slow-paced Western

Sheriff Tom Tubule (Bela Lugosi), trying to find something, anything, to do in a town that has no crime, arrests Big John (Baba the Giant) for cheating at tic-tac-toe: but now Miss Scarlett (Bertha Morris Parker) won’t let him into the saloon. Sickening Joe: himself (couldn’t find any actor who wanted to play him).

Ch. 08  SCHOOL BOARD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP–Wrestling

Live from Francisco Franco High School! Board President Humphrey Dumphrey and Secretary Mary “The Beast” Fugu (Saginaw, Michigan) vs. Treasurer Fat-Boy Schlapock and Hermione Gasket (Voodooville, Indiana), to three falls or curfew. Announcer: Scottish guy with speech impediment. Featured: the June Taylor Dancers.

8 P.M.  Ch. 12  I’VE GOT A SHAMEFUL SECRET–Game show

One of these guests has done something so shameful, so disgusting, so absurd, that it can only be described in Latin–but which guest is it? Join host Jimmy Fraud and celebrity panelists Christine Keeler, Chiang Kai-shek, Susan Sontag, and PeeWee Herman as they try to find out whom! With Fritzie the Crabby Octopus.

Ch. 43  MOVIE–Tear-jerking tragical melodrama

In “The Milk Truck Doesn’t Stop on My Front Lawn Anymore” (Greco-Persian, 1968), glamorous housewife Shirley Turley (Miriam Webster) has an affair with milkman Frank McCoccyx (James Arness)–until they both come down with incurable lycanthropy. Dr. Gesundheit: Sandy Becker. Uncooperative Victim: Cindy Indy from Rawalpindi.

8:14 P.M.  Ch. 65   NEWS WITH JIMMY FRAUD–News & Commentary

The most hopelessly credulous talk host on the planet interviews some of the world’s clumsiest liars, believing every word of it! TV critic Oscar Boomschmitt: “This is the show that makes you feel like a genius!” Tonight’s guest claims to have discovered a pacifistic Stone Age tribe in Sayreville, New Jersey, untouched by 2,000 years of progress all around them. Believe it if you can! Featured: Swan Lake danced by lumberjacks.

Well, boys ‘n’ gulls, there you have it–a weekend’s televisual feast, as George Washington would call it. I admit to being a huuuuge fan of Mild, Mild West. You can actually watch this and play Clue at the same time.

Quokka: [PHOTOS] This wildlife photographer's love for Quokka has made the animal an Instgaram famous star | Trending & Viral News

Byron the Quokka, signing off–happy viewing!

Byron’s TV Listings, March 12

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Pin on Remember When

G’day! Byron the Quokka here. March is ripping along so fast! It’s all we can do to find quality TV to bring you on the weekend. Like these:

8 P.M.  Ch. 33   ROLLER DERBY WITH SIR KENNETH CLARK–Scandal

This is why they wouldn’t let Sir Kenneth Clark keep on hosting Civilization. He brought his erudition, charm, and urbanity to professional roller derby–where it’s totally wasted, of course, but who cares? This week: Bay Area Embalmers vs. Perth Amboy Saps.

Ch. 41   MOVIE–Horror chiller

In Dr. Fanabla’s House of Tacky Outfits (Honduran, 2002), trusting young women who agree to model his “high fashion” outfits are never seen again–until secret agent Kookla Fran (Debbie Reynolds) appears on the scene! Dr. Fanabla: Cecil Rhodes. All-Girl Rumanian hit squad: the June Taylor Dancers. Huge Stick Insect: himself.

8:15 P.M.  Ch. 09  HOW TO MARRY A PAUPER–Reality show

Join host Amenhotep III as he matches peppy society girls with older men who’ve lost all their money! It’s like a game show, group therapy, and slapstick comedy all rolled into one! Zeppo: Mikhail Gorbachev. Beppo: Tammy Grimes.

8:30 P.M.  Ch. 19  PARDON MY FRENCH!–Sitcom

Clara Bow stars as Sassy LaFong, the only French speaker in an isolated community of transplanted Cossack crossword-puzzle composers who only speak Scottish. Misunderstandings abound! This week: Igor (Jack Webb) offers Sassy a bowl of live crickets–but what she’s trying to tell him is that his house is on fire!

Ch. 56  MY SON THE HORSE’S A**–Drama

Totie Fields plays Mama Dook, whose 45-year-old son, Doozy (Redd Foxx), is a constant disappointment to her. This week: Doozy is fired from his job on the same day he’s hired–and Mama plans to behead the boss (Al Lewis). Featuring Spiro Agnew and his Jug Band.

These ought to hold you for a couple days! I never understood why Sir Kenneth Clark wasn’t announcing roller derby from the git-go. He makes it real–y’know?

Quokkas: why we need to look beyond the smile - Australian Geographic

Well, I’d better hurry if I want a good seat! this is Byron the Quokka, signing off.

Byron’s TV Listings, Feb. 5

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TV Guide 10-16 September 1966

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with the best TV you’ll see all week! People are dyin’ to know where we get these shows! I wish I could tell you, but I don’t want to suddenly disappear… if y’know what I mean. Anyhoo, here’s a sample of this weekend’s revels:

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 08   PRESIDENT FOR LIFE!–Drama

So you think it’s easy, being dictator? Gen. Buckethead (Edward Platt) needs a special march for his death squads (“Like the goose-step, only higher–much higher!”), while Mrs. Buckethead (Nancy Pelosi) can’t decide whose scalp to wear to the annual Diversity Ball. Who will be led out and shot this time? Suck-up News Anchor: Dan Rather.

Ch. 10   SAMMY THE GIANT JELLYFISH–Children’s Science Fiction

It takes a lot of jellyfish to make the high seas safe for multi-family housing; but Sammy (Sidney Toler) is a lot of jellyfish! This week: Mr. Bigsheets (Sal Hepatica) need’s Sammy’s help when his Floating Apartments keep sinking for no apparent reason. Sally the Giant Sea Cucumber: Julie Andrews

8:00 P.M.   Ch. 18  HOME RUN DERBY–Game Show

Can they still hit home runs if they’re 80 years old, up against a near-sighted pitcher who throws heat–and wearing an oversized derby instead of a batting helmet? Heck, the freakin’ thing keeps slipping down over their eyes just as the ball is released! Host: Noam Chomsky. Tonight’s contestants: Shotgun Shuba, Bob Allison, Elio Chacon. First one hit into the seats wins everybody else’s personal belongings.

Ch. 41  MOVIE–Historical Epic

In “Hercules vs. the Bugs of Babylon” (Finnish-Ethiopian, 1987), Sunu Huutuala, “the Steave Reaves of Helsinki,” stars as the legendary strongman who must save Babylon from an invasion of shield bugs. Evil mastermind: Arnold Stang. Loola the Slave Girl: Helen Hayes. Babylonian goon squad: the June Taylor Dancers.

8:08   Ch. 37  UNSOLVED PARANORMAL LOTTERY NUMBERS–Utter Ca-Ca

Emcee John Kerry (wooden puppet) unwinds the convoluted excuses of self-taught experts whose fool-proof systems… fail. This week: “Bigfoot changed my numbers”: 14 guests from all around the country tell their stories. Featuring Mr. Clean and his orchestra. (Yes, the real Mr. Clean from all those old commercials!)

Well, me hearties, cruise through the weekend on a sea of great TV! Blimey! Have I just made a metaphor? This job is getting to me!

Quokka: [PHOTOS] This wildlife photographer's love for Quokka has made the animal an Instgaram famous star | Trending & Viral News

Byron’s TV Listings, Nov. 6

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Bcast_Md — TV Guide listings for April 8, 1959. “Varsity...

G’day, TV lovers! Byron the Quokka here for Quokka University–where we haven’t held any courses yet, but we do bring you the world’s best television. Like for instance:

7:56 P.M.  Ch. 06  60 MOMENTS–News/Modern Dance

Former pro wrestler Jose Estrada re-tells today’s top news stories in the form of interpretative dance by people who read The New Yorker. Tonight: Dancers interpret the longshoremen’s strike.

8 P.M.  Ch. 03  NASTY LITTLE SQUIRTS–Discussion

They may not be the world’s smartest 10-year-olds, but they’re surely the most obnoxious! Spoiled-rotten brats from all over the country get together to complain about things they don’t even begin to understand! Tonight: “It’s Not Fair That Kids Can’t Vote!” Host: A rather vicious dog.

Ch. 10   MOVIE–Western/Greek Philosophy

In “Sheriff Socrates” (1947), the Greek philosopher (Arnold Stang) is elected sheriff of Biteme, Wyoming, and proceeds to play lewd practical jokes on all and sundry. Tonight: Socrates replaces the statue of General Bollwinkle with something that can’t be mentioned here. Mayor Scruffy: Chiang Kai-shek, Weepy Nell: Dame Judith Anderson

8:30 P.M.  Ch. 05  “YOU ASKED FOR IT, ALL RIGHT!”–Educational

This show’s motto is “Be careful what you wish for!”–as host Vincent Price reminds contestants who survive the literal fulfillment of their most poorly thought-out wishes. Classic flashback: “I wish I was married to Doris Day,” and Doris Day turns out to be a bad-tempered elephant in the Mills Bros. circus.

Ch. 16   MY MOTHER THE HAMPER–Sitcom

Star Murray Mealworm was imprisoned for six months when he and the rest of the cast went on a goodwill tour of Bulgaria. Tonight: Momma keeps spitting out the dirty clothes, but she’s murderously jealous of the new hamper that Spot (Mealworm) and Lulu (Julia Child) bought from the June Taylor Dancers. Introduced by Sir Kenneth Clark.

Well, folks, there you have it! Who needs a college education, when you’ve got stuff like this to watch on TV? You can probably get by with no education at all!

The Smiley Quokka Is an Australian Super Survivor | HowStuffWorks

Byron’s TV Listings, Oct. 30

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CTVA - US TV Listings - 1968

Happy Day Before Halloween! Byron the Quokka here, for Quokka University and another weekend’s worth of indescribable TV! Actually, I have to try to describe it. So here goes–and you’ll notice the whole menu is Halloween-themed.

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 08  HAUNT YOUR HOUSE!–Home Improvement (?)

Host Alger Hiss (a nom de plume–after about 15 minutes you’ll figure out who he really is) knows 1,001 ways to attract malignant spiritual entities to your house so that you can live with unexplained mysteries! This week: “Horrible Things That Can Come Out of Your Tea-pot When You Pour Your Tea.”

Ch. 12  MOVIE–Horror

In Mothman vs. Reddy Kilowatt (1968), enraged Mothman (Don Knotts) battles a supercharged Reddy Kilowatt (Howard Duff)–and caught in the middle, the June Taylor Dancers. Can they keep dancing while the town is razed around them? The Singing Editor: Irene Ryan.

7:42 P.M.  Ch. 03  DOCUMENTARY

Head-hunters of Darkest Kansas followed the Miskatonic University expedition to Kravchenko Korners, Kansas, in search of a legendary tribe of Pennsylvania-Dutch head-hunters. Featured interviews: Louise Lasser, Jerry the Talking Squid. With Chiang Kai-shek and his orchestra.

8 P.M.  Ch. 64  2021 SPRING FASHION SHOW–Fashion

It’s the Gucci Spring Fashion Show from–I don’t know: Mordor, I guess. We couldn’t find anything scarier! The models look like failed auditions for Night of the Living Dead, and the fashions themselves, you wouldn’t want to be buried in them. I’ll bet the emcee is an uncaught serial murderer.

8:30 P.M.  Ch. 16  MOVIE–Unbearable horror and suspense

Supermodel Polly Feemus stars in this 1970 remake of the Manchurian film noir/horror classic, One-Eyed Jacks. Teens check in to Cyclops High School, but never check out! Kept in high school till you die of old age: Can a perky 52-year-old sophomore (Feemus) rally the one-eyed students to tunnel their way out? Principal: Clyde Beatty. Don’t miss Lon Chaney Jr. as Biffo, the 89-year-old quarterback of the football team.

Well, there you have it! I will close with an appropriate Halloween farewell.

Quokka Halloween Costume Add On Stamps by Kat Scrappiness - Kat Scrappiness, Inc

 

Byron’s TV Listings, Oct. 16

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

CTVA - US TV Listings - 1970

G’day, mates! Byron the Quokka here. Welcome to another weekend of fantastic TV viewing brought to you by Quokka University. We seem to have missed our deadline for offering courses, but never mind–TV’s more fun. Here’s a brief sample of what we’ve got lined up for you.

9:00 P.M.   Ch. 08   SCHMOE FOR A DAY–Game Show

Patterned after the classic “Queen for a Day,” the contestant who tells the most horrible sob story gets to be Schmoe For A Day, complete with propeller hat. Last week’s schmoe, the guy with all the leeches in his swimming pool, tonight defends his title against a pitiful old lady who has a monster living in her kitchen sink. Host: A former Turkish politician concealing his identity.

Ch. 12   MY FRIEND FRANCO–Sitcom

The ghost of the former Spanish dictator (Bill Dana) haunts Debbi DuBuque (Capucine)–but he’s awfully good at solving her boyfriend problems! This week: Can the Generalissimo engineer a fatal accident for Chester (Dennis Weaver) without the police getting involved? Officer Mike: Ed McMahon.

9:14 P.M.  Ch. 02  SPEAK GERMAN WITH A THICK CHINESE ACCENT!–Educational

Instructor Fong Hsueh-ting can teach you virtually incomprehensible language dialects, puzzling even to persons who regularly speak them. Are you tired of people understanding what you say? Dr. Fong can fix that! Featuring the June Taylor Dancers. Song: “Du Gwangst Mihr Hsiao Gebleben.”

9:30 P.M.  Ch. 16  GNUSMOKE–African Western

Imagine James Arness’ confusion when he showed up for work in his U.S. Marshal’s costume only to find himself cast as a game warden in East Africa! Gotta read those contracts more carefully, Jimbo! This show was briefly famous for the friction between Arness and his co-star, Liberace–and cancelled after Liberace pushed Arness into the crocodile tank! With Gorilla Monsoon and his orchestra.

Ch. 48   EL BORRACHO!–Western/Romance

Who’s that tireless fighter for justice who keeps walking into the wall instead of out the door? It’s “El Borracho” (Frank Botox), feared by bad guys from Paraguay to Oman, or wherever else he winds up. Nancy Kwolvczek plays “Dona Pupitre,” El Borracho’s lady love. This week: Sgt. Fernandez (Jackie Chan) thinks he has evidence that will send El Borracho to the gallows. If they can find the gallows.

Well, there you go! Is that great TV, or what? Grab a eucalyptus leave and settle down! We are gonna see magic!

954 Quokka Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock