We Wahnt Themb Tamp-Ons!!!!!

Toilet roll chained to the wall in park toilet after spate of  coronavirus-fuelled thefts

Neckst thing yiu know,, the’ll Lock Up “the” Toylit Paper tooo!!!

We hadded a Merjintsy Meting of the Stoodint Soviet “this” moaning becose “we” jist herd the Collidge “was goingto” taik Tamp-Ons oaut “of” The mans bath=rhoombs and putt them “in The” wimmin’s bath-rhoombs becose thare “is” A Tamp-On shoartidge!!!!!

This heer it “is” “a” Colambitty!!!!!!!! It is A Secksyst Bloe aginst Men whoo got to Mansterate!!!!! It “is” Un-Inkloosiff!!!! We are Not goingto Taik “it” lyeing daown!!!!!!

Of coarse thare shuddnt “be” Mans OR Wimmins bath/rhoombs At All!!!! Thare shood Ownly “be” Peeples Bath Rhoombs!!!!!!!!!! That is Becoause “Men’ “and” “Wimmin’ thay Are Not Reel!!!! Thay are Ownly Socile Contrucks!!!!!!!

Y’know waht??? I hadded my hart sett “On” using a Tamp-On foar The frist tyme and nhow thare Is Not enuff Tamp-Ons “to” Go Araound!!!! That is Pootin’s fawlt!!! and aslo Donold Trumpt’s”!”!! Wate till Pressadint Jobydin he fynds Oaut!!!!!

So we writ And sented himb a “letter” deemanding that he duz a Axecrative Odor that anny boddy whoo Whants A Tamp-On thay shood “get one” foar Freee!!!!!!! He whil straitin this Oaut Quicck!!!

‘A Millenial Want Ad’ (2016)

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Has anyone yet figured out what we’re going to do with tens of thousands of unemployed, unemployable college graduates with degrees in Nothing Studies and experience in rioting? Wait–tens of thousands? More like millions.

A Millenial Want Ad

I’ve actually hired and had to rely on recent college graduates. I could hardly believe how incapable they were. The average middle school kid would’ve been better. The high school kids I hired part-time were definitely better.