The March of “Sophia”

(published originally in 2006)

If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life.

                                               Revelation 22:18–19

This fall, a Lutheran church in San Francisco hopes to enlist 18 women to go on a “Goddess Pilgrimage to Crete”:

“Feel Her power in the holy mountians [sic], sense Her mysteries in the darkness of the caves, pour libations of milk and honey on Minoan altars. Contact a sacred energy that will transform the way you feel about women, about yourself” (http://www.herchurch.org/id10.html).

Closer to home, the church every year sponsors a “Retreat with She Who Is.” Led in these activities by a Lutheran pastor, participant Jo Ann Heydron describes her experiences on the church’s website:

The pastor “invited us to form our own images in clay of Asherah, the mother goddess of the Canaanites … with a sacred body just like mine” [for a photo, see the website]. There was also a project “to make a mandala, a circular, meditative image of the self” [originally used in Hinduism] and meditative dancing. Finally, “all ten of us prayed the Goddess rosary (some beaded their own Goddess Rosary that afternoon).” Pastor Stacy “called us to remember the sea as the primal water from which life emerged, to think of it as the amniotic fluid of our mothers’ wombs” (ibid.).

Blogger “Athana,” of radical goddess thealogy [sic.], puts it succinctly:

“[T]his weblog is dedicated to the goddess and to saving the planet … by gently replacing god the father with god the mother by the year 2025” (http://godmotherascending.blogspot.com/).

Are You As Smart as an NFL Draft Pick?

http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=JN.i0TsLY5ADqkrHyDyVAFoOg&pid=15.1

Here is a standardized test given to NFL draft picks, also known as college graduates ( http://www.washingtontimes.com/quiz/2015/mar/5/are-you-smarter-nfl-draft-pick/girl-16-years-old-and-her-brother-h/ ). According to the Washington Times article, the average score is 40%. As a former public school teacher, I feel certain beyond a vestige of doubt that the great majority of seniors in the high school where I taught would have done every bit as badly as the football players.

Here are some of the questions from the test.

1. What is the next number in the following pattern? 18,36,72,144… a)432 b) 162 c) 246 d) 288

2. Assume the first two statements are true. Amy knows Sam. Sam knows Joe. Does Joe know Amy?  a)yes b)no  c)not certain

6. Choose the word that best describes the meaning of the *starred* word used in the following sentence. The newspaper published a *scathing* review of the writer’s latest book.  a) praising  b) contemptuous  c) agreeable  d) uncertain

11. A girl is 16 years old and her brother is half her age. When the girl is 38, what will be the age of her brother?  a) 16  b) 19  c) 28  d) 30

And so on–questions that test basic reading ability, basic arithmetic ability, vocabulary, and basic reasoning power or common sense.

Here are a couple of ideas for further research. Give the test to Obama voters and see if they get any of the answers right at all. Then give it to members of Congress, the federal judiciary, and university professors. Then grieve for the future of America.

The Last of the Dodos–Daylight Savings Time

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UHuW02TM2uY/TAuONMhNC0I/AAAAAAAAAKo/O_5MIZwDTPA/s1600/dodo-bird.jpg

We don’t have dodo birds anymore because they were too stupid to survive . But we do have Daylight Savings Time, which is why I’m running late today and can never catch up. Of course the dodos were innocent, defenseless creatures who couldn’t help going extinct when humans came along and fundamentally transformed their environment. Daylight Savings Time, by contrast, is the purposeful creation of stupid and arrogant people.

Too bad we can’t trade in DST for the dodo.

God gave us perfectly serviceable days and nights, and the flop-eared knaves in government had to tinker with them. Actually, the days and nights are beyond their reach; so what they’re really tinkering with is… us! “Hey! Let’s take away an hour of their sleep and see what happens!”

Too bad we can’t trade in DST’s enablers and promoters for the dodos. I would defy any ten thousand dodos to do a tenth of the harm done by any single U.S. Senator.

Woodrow Wilson was a big fan of DST; in fact, he vetoed legislation to do away with it. Woodrow Wilson also said the purpose of education was to make a son as unlike his father as possible. What an ass.

They can’t speed up or slow down the movements of the sun and the earth, as decreed by God.

All they can do is foul up our schedules–and to what purpose, who knows?