‘They Never Learn (Scientists, That Is)’ (2011)

Piltdown Man: British archaeology's greatest hoax | Archaeology | The  Guardian

Piltdown Man (you could look it up)

Local legend has it that the last Piltdown Man lives in the space between the two surviving walls of what was once a carriage house. I remember when someone had an antique car stored in it. But a new landlord tore down the old garages, leaving poor Mr. Piltdown with something less than adequate housing.

They Never Learn (Scientists, That Is)

Oh! British scientists wanted so badly, so passionately, for Piltdown Man to be the real deal! American scientists were never entirely sold on it, but they didn’t want to stage another Lexington & Concord. They bided their time until the hoax was fully exposed during the mid-1950s… but not before Piltdown Man had gotten gigs in all the textbooks.

But the Brits have some ammo of their own. All they have to do is whisper, “Nebraska Man”… and it’s a food fight.

‘Oops! “Nebraska Man” Was a Pig’ (2018)

See the source image

Stop the presses!

Beware, beware, beware of Settled Science doled out to you by Experts! Like this, for instance: “Nebraska Man.”

Oops! ‘Nebraska Man’ Was a Pig

The top men in the field lent their names to this embarrassment. And today we’ve got yard signs (liberals’ yard signs) proclaiming “Science Is Real!” By which they mean Climbit Change. Uh-huh. Just like Nebraska Man was real. The top experts said so.

These top experts at least didn’t lie and use political chicanery to protect the lie.

Ours do.

I’m Sick (but Here’s Some Settled Science!)

Image result for nebraska man

Behold Nebraska Man in all his glory! Formal scientific name, Hesperopithecus haroldcookii.

Yes, I’m sick. Allergy attack, meaning two to three days of hell. I won’t make it to the store today, or even try to write a Newwithviews column. I feel horrible.

But at least I’m still here, if only just barely–which is more than can be said for Nebraska Man.

Harold Cook found a fossil tooth in 1917–just a few years after (heh-heh) Piltdown Man was discovered in England–held on to it for a while, then passed it on to Henry Fairfield Osborn, president of the American Museum of Natural History. In 1922 Osborn announced that the tooth had belonged to a manlike ape. Given Osborn’s lofty reputation in the scientific world, a star was born: Hesperopithecus, “Western ape,” on its way to becoming human.

Actually it was on its way to the junkyard. The tooth turned out to belong to a fossil pig. In fairness to Osborn, he consulted with several leading scientists before making the announcement, and they all concurred with it. And he did not like the illustration (shown above), deeming it a pure figment of the artist’s imagination.

Nebraska Man didn’t stay settled for long. In 1927 Osborn retracted his findings and that was all she wrote for Hesperopithecus: just five years in the limelight, and then out. He coulda been a contender–if only they hadn’t found the rest of the fossilized pig (all right, it was an extinct peccary–and I do know the difference).

Across the Atlantic, Piltdown Man–which was a deliberate hoax that fooled Britain’s whole scientific establishment–hung in there for 50 years. They really hated to give it up. Osborn at least threw in the towel without making a fuss.

We credit Osborn with an honest mistake. But I shudder to think how the story would have played out if it had happened today. Jail for persons guilty of Nebraska Man Denial? Neil DeGrasse Tyson writing off all the doubters as backward religious fanatics? Nebraska Man action figures?

I’m thankful it was a hundred years ago.