So You Wanted a Sub Sandwich, Did You?

Man Vows to Eat Worst Subway Sandwich Invented by Redditors

From our “Nothing Works” Dept.–

Yesterday it was dreadfully hot by suppertime and we wanted something cool to eat–we wanted sub sandwiches. So we ordered a couple from the Italian restaurant a few blocks away. And they delivered it to our door.

Here’s the order:

1 roast beef sub, no vinegar, no cheese, no tomatoes, lettuce and onions only.

1 turkey sub

My roast beef sub came with no lettuce and the whole innards drowned in… ketchup! I used to have a job making subs, must have made at least a thousand of ’em. And not one of those had ketchup on it!

Patty’s turkey sub came slathered in mayonnaise, which of course she never asked for.

It took an irate phone call to get the supper we asked for and paid for.

That’s twice in just a few days that this restaurant screwed up an order. We’ve been customers there for at least 30 years. The old owner died last year, and the new regime shows no interest in keeping the restaurant’s customer base.

What gives? Do they just not pay attention anymore, when the customer is ordering a meal? Or is it part of a general national malaise, affecting everyone from the White House on down–nobody gets it right. Nobody cares. Nobody tries.

It’s one of those things that happens to a society when evil people get control of its politics. Mangle the politics, and you can trash everything else with it.

 

 

Secret Service Agent Robbed at Gunpoint

Stick 'Em Up!

From our “Nothing Works Anymore” Dept.–

They’re supposed to protect the president; but here’s a Secret Service agent who couldn’t protect himself. At around 9:30 P.M. the other night, in the town of Tustin, CA (just 40 miles from a Los Angeles fund-raising event for SloJo), the agent was parted at gunpoint from a “bag” he was carrying (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cp66xljl5p2o).

Somehow the nature and number of suspects is “unclear.” What–couldn’t the agent count them? Or was he just not paying attention? And what was in the bag? Let’s hope it wasn’t nuclear launch codes.

No one has been arrested.

Maybe the Secret Service needs a buddy system.

Please Be Patient

Hardware failure hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy

No sooner do we get Patty’s car back than our shiny new Windows 11 computer goes belly-up and dies, and all we’ve got left is the old Windows 7 laptop.

This year is killing us. First the hernia, then the refrigerator, then the car, and now the [censored] computer. All we’re missing is a plague of skinwalkers.

I will try my best to do my work today.

But first we’ve got to go to the store. *Sigh*

So It’d Wear You Out to Open a Door?

Package Left Out In The Rain Exposed On A Front Porch Stock Photo -  Download Image Now - iStock

It was raining cats and dogs this morning. And if I hadn’t happened to look out the window at just the right time, we would not have known we had a delivery from Whole Foods.

Our standing instructions, as solicited by the management, are to open the door and put the bags in the foyer where they won’t get soaked, scorched, frozen, or stolen. Nine out of time times the delivery person ignores the instructions and just leaves the bags on the steps.

Like, it’d put you in traction if you had to open a door and put the bags in the foyer? Is that just too hard? How much sense does it take to see it’s raining and to deduce that damage will be done if the bags are left in the rain?

Typical, for the Age of Nothing Works…

Ain’t This Day Just Grand?

37 Entenmann Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

I can’t get WordPress to work. Nothing works. So I thought I might as well have breakfast.

Brand-new unopened back of Entenmann’s assorted donuts, one dozen. Twelve donuts. I bought it just yesterday.

I open it up and there’s only 11. I think we can all that a faker’s dozen.

I call Entenmann’s customer service line and a robot gives me a lecture about GMOs. Then it stops.

It’d be nice to know how many people are viewing my posts today, but I have lost access to that knowledge. What I’m doing today most closely resembles putting a message in a bottle and throwing it into the sea.

‘Nothing Works,’ Part II

6,862 Store Closing Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Patty’s prescription must be refilled.

The brand-new CVS store, where we were to get it… closed. Just like that.

The pharmacists at the other CVS store don’t know what we’re talking about.

Robo-call: “Hello. This is The Legal Department.” They must think everyone’s retarded. “This is amazon.” “Hi!” Thick Indian accent; you could cut it with a knife. “This is Bryan O’Shaughnessy…” No it isn’t.

OK, now the other CVS pharmacist has found the medicine, after all. I’ve got to get there before they lose it again.

Why does a sparkling new store go belly-up? Could it be because nobody knows what they’re doing? Has business become some kind of birthday party game?

Honk if you think competent people are in charge. Anywhere.