Wahoo!! Nothing But Good Graids Fromb Now On!!!!

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Evvry Boddy thay get P.H.Ds!! How grate “is” that?!

See??? Toldja collidge maikes yiu Smart!!!

A lot “of the” Teechers thay doughnt Like it but So Waht!!! Our Collidge “is” Now goingto has “Graydin Foar Eqwitty!”!”! Evvryboddy gradurates!!! Evvryboddys graydes thay Go Up & Up & Up!!! And No Moar Pendletees foar Cheeting, thro’ing Stuff in Class, Lait for Classs, oar Jist Not Sho’ing Up!!!!!!! No moar “Zeero” graydes!! EQWITTY meens we “awl maik” the Deen’s Lisp!!!!!!

Thinck “of” it!!! Nothin butt Strait A’s in Nothing Studdies, Wimmin’s Studdies, Ginder Studdies, Queer Studdies, Introsexional Anti-Rasist Studdies–WOW!!!!! My frends And me we was talwking it Ovur and we de-sided we wood Awl Get Jobbs as Prefessers rihte Heer “at” this heer Collidge!!!” Aphter awl this,, THEY WOODNT DAYRE NOT HIER US!!!!!!!!!! Man,, thay HAS TO!!!!

Wye diddnt no-boddy “thinck Of” this suner??? Jist imadjin How Grate “a” couuntry it wood Be “if Evvry-One” thay tern Out “to-be” Collidge Prefessers!!! Like, Evry-Boddy! A hole Nashin fulll Of Intrellecturals!! Millyins and millyins of PH-Dees!!!! EVVRY BODDY THAY HAS A PEE-H-DEE!!!!! AND TENYUR!! That “meens” “yiu” cant get Fyred!!!!

Lowng Live Gray-ding Foar Eqwitty!!!!!!!!!!

‘Most Fantastic Education Reform Ever!’ (2017)

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Imagine a country in which every adult has a Ph. D.: in which every adult has to stay in college full-time until he gets one. Wow! 300 million Ph.D.’s, and then some!

Most Fantastic Education Reform Ever!

It might take you 25 years to earn your doctorate in Superhero Studies, but it’d be worth it! And think of the talent pool available for Mostly Peaceful Protests! Why, we’d achieve Pure Socialism in a matter of weeks!

We would all be “doctors.” That’s a plus!