‘International Manhunt: Reddy Kilowatt’ (2015)

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Really, you mustn’t say things that the United Nations doesn’t like. Haven’t we all learned that true diversity is founded upon strict uniformity?

Reddy Kilowatt must die.

International Manhunt: Reddy Kilowatt

You’d think he and Speedy Alka-Seltzer would be pretty easy to spot, no matter where they went, but Interpol hasn’t caught them yet. So keep your eyes peeled, and if you see ’em, rat ’em out!

The reward will be commensurate with the service.

‘International Manhunt: Reddy Kilowatt’ (2015)

Reddy Kilowatt was all over the place when I was a kid. Remember him? But I’m afraid he’s now on the Climbit Change bad-guy list.


And just wait’ll he teams up with Speedy Alka-Seltzer!

International Manhunt: Reddy Kilowatt

For more than half a century he was the world-wide ambassador for consumer electricity.

Now he’s a man on the run.

Police in 77 countries are after Reddy Kilowatt, 89, who mysteriously escaped recently from a secret Interpol prison in the Alps. He is wanted on a plethora of charges, including Climate Change Denial, Heteronormativity, and Being a Capitalist Running Dog.

“He ought to be pretty easy to spot,” said Interpol Commissioner Hans Upp. “On his own, I doubt he can pose much of a threat. Our gravest concern is that he might seek to join forces with another fugitive.”

According to confidential sources, Interpol fears Reddy will team up with Speedy Alka-Seltzer, a known Enemy of the People, to say and do things that the UN doesn’t like.

Last year a UN hit squad tracked down Bucky Beaver and killed him in a shootout. “That was satisfying,” said Upp, “but only to those few of us who remember Bucky Beaver.”

Citizens of the world are urged to contact Interpol, or their local police force, if they spot Reddy Kilowatt.

“Do not approach him yourself,” Upp advised. “He could give you a shock.”

If Reddy and Speedy combine their forces, he warned, “They could release a dangerous amount of gas into the atmosphere.”

A reward is offered for any information leading to the arrest of Mr. Kilowatt. The nature of the reward has not been disclosed, “but it will be in keeping with the best international traditions,” said the commissioner.